Dear Oliver
by emily.g.thorne
Summary: Set in the future. 20 years ago Felicity left and no one new why. Now Oliver finds a letter from her on his desk. This letter changes his life in ways Oliver never imagined and now instead of having all the answer to his questions, he just has move questions. Follow Oliver as he hunts for the truth behind Felicity's departure.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Set in the future. 20 years ago Felicity left. Now Oliver finds a letter from her on his desk. This letter not only changes his life but can it give him the answers to all his questions?

Dear Oliver:

Chapter One: Message from the grave

At 48 Oliver Queen liked to believe that he had lived a full life. Sure there are many thing he wished he could have done differently but his mistakes are what made him. He has certainly lived through a lot; the death of his father, the island, Malcolm Merlin, losing Tommy, Slade, losing his relationship with is mother. The list was ongoing but as he looked down at the envelope in his hand, the familiar writing of the envelope he remembered his biggest loss of all Felicity Smoak.

Oliver looked up only to be met by Digs frown.

"Everything ok?" Dig asked.

Oliver shook his head before turning the envelope over to show Dig.

Dig's eyes widened.

"Felicity." Dig breathed.

Oliver nodded.

Felicity had disappeared one day almost twenty one years ago. None of them had seen it coming. It was ironic to him how in her disappearance Oliver finally realised what she was capably off. He looked for her they all did. She was the little sister of Dig. The best friend of Sara. The older sister of Roy. She had even become close with Thea who along with the rest of them had spent months looking for her. But Felicity was gone and there was no finding an IT girl they didn't want to be found.

"What does it say?" Dig asked.

Oliver shrugged. Oliver would never considered himself a coward at least that was until he met Felicity Smoak. With Felicity he was coward. Oliver was like a black hole spiralling out of control and Felicity became his light, the very thing that kept him grounded though all the madness. He care about Felicity so much but had been afraid to let her in, so sure his darkness would damage her light.

"I haven't opened it." Oliver confessed.

Dig sighed.

"It's been almost twenty one year's Oliver and she's writing to you now." Dig said emphasizing how important the fact she had written to him meant.

Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath preparing himself.

He opened his eyes and picked up the letter slowly. He opened it carefully.

_Dear Oliver, _

_I have wrote and rewrote what feels like a hundred times over, in hopes that I can somehow explain to you everything that has happened and why I left like I did without saying goodbye. _

_In truth I'm not sure where to begin. It's a first for me not knowing what to say let alone how to say it, I always know what to say. It might not always be the right thing but I always so say something which has led to some awkward conversations between the two of us. Anyway I am getting off tract maybe I should start with the night everything changed. _

_Do you remember the night Thea and I got taken by Malcolm Merlin? I am sorry if this brings up bad memories for you but that night is important to the story, well in a way. Thea and I were having lunch one minute then the next I woke up tied to a chair with Thea next to me. _

It was night that he thought he had lost them both. Felicity had almost died in order to protect Thea's life and the secret of her paternity. Oliver cringed at the memory.

_When we got back to the lair after you had taken Thea home you kissed me as if you were afraid I might disappear. _

Oliver remembered that kiss as if it was yesterday, it wasn't their first kiss that had happened months before but that night when Malcolm took them was a kissed that changed everything in their relationship.

_That night, the first and last time you every made love to me was the greatest night of my life. You were so gentle as you kissed every inch of me. You were as caring as you did everything to bring pleasure to me, I had never been with a man who was as attentive and loving as you were that night. It was perfect and I think I fell in love with you all love again that night. _

_Then I woke up and you were gone…_

Oliver closed his eyes as if he could somehow hide guilt he felt from leaving that night. He remembered that night vividly he would often wake up from dreams from that night full of want and regret. He remembered his need to kiss every inch of her body just to ensure himself that she was here and that she was safe, taking care over the bruises that Malcolm had tainted her perfect skin with. He remember her screaming his name with pleasure and how much that meant to him, and how much he wanted to hear that sound over and over again. Then when their love making was over, she fell asleep with a content smile on her beautiful face in his arms. No one had ever felt as made for him as she did. But then his brain went into overdrive, caught up with all the bad things that could happen to her because of him. Losing Felicity as not an option for Oliver, so Oliver did what Oliver did best and he left hurting someone else that he really cared about.

_It hurt so much, I couldn't face you so I called in sick and you never checked on me like you normally did when I was sick so I knew you were avoiding me too. Now that I think about you it you probably left because in your own thick headed way you thought it was the only way to protect me. I hope by now Oliver that you now know you are wrong. Pushing people away is not protecting them it's hurting them._

_After a couple of days of crying I got myself together and I came back to QC and the lair. The first time I spoke to you, you acted like nothing changed, it was as if to you nothing even happened between the two of us. That hurt much more than you leaving did, I wanted to scream at you, stab you with one of your sharp arrows, but I didn't I took a deep breath and followed your lead. Telling myself I could be ok with the two of us just being friends. _

_Dig was the first to notice things were weird between us but when he asked I lied and told him that you had just touched one of my babies and messed up something on them. That reminds me can you tell Dig I'm sorry for leaving like I did and that I miss my big brother so much, tell him I am sorry for not saying goodbye. Oh! And tell Roy too. He became like an annoying little brother that no matter how big or strong he gets you always want to protect. I'd hate to think that he thought I abandoned him. Tell Sara I miss our talks and our laughs and tell Thea that I love her and miss her so much too. I couldn't have asked for a better family if I tried. Neither of us could. Now I am a blubbering mess and off tract too, where was I? Oh yeah. About three weeks later I started to get sick and when I wasn't being sick I couldn't stop feeling sick. _

Oliver's eyes widened in surprise, he remembered all those morning she had ran in late looking pale, Oliver thought it had just been because she was over worked. To know that she had been that sick and he hadn't noticed made him feel incredible guilty and very angry at himself.

_I was like this for a couple of weeks and then the fainting started, I had plan on going to the doctors then someone tried to kill you and we were working night and day to catch…. I don't remember his name, but in all fairness there are a lot of people who end up trying to kill you. Keeping track of them all is kind of hard work. _

_One day I was having lunch with Thea when I fainted again, she made me go to the hospital to get checked out. Now don't get mad at Thea, I begged her not to tell you and even then she was still hesitant. I wasn't sure she would keep her promise not to tell you. When we were waiting for the test results when Thea got a call, something to do with the club I think? Anyway she had to leave. If it wasn't for that phone call I am pretty sure that everything would be different right now. _

_When the doctor came back, I was so sure he was going to tell me I was exhausted and I should get some rest, I mean we were working loads back then. However instead…_

Oliver took a breath to prepare himself for what came next.

_he told me I was pregnant. I was so sure he got it wrong. I mean when did I have time to be with anyone, then I remembered how desperate we were that night, too desperate to use protection. _

The paper feel from Oliver's fingers. Felicity had been pregnant with his child and she had left. He hated to think that she thought she couldn't have gone to him.

"Oliver, what is it?" Diggle asked.

Oliver looked up, his friend was worried.

"She was pregnant." Oliver replied numbly.

Diggle frowned. Then his brain seem to catch up with him and his frown turned into a glare. Diggle and the others find out that they had slept together shortly after she left. They wanted a reason and the only one Oliver could think of was that she couldn't cope with how much he had hurt her.

"With your baby." Diggle stated and Oliver nodded slowly.

Oliver put his head in his hands.

He head Dig take a deep breath.

"What happened to them Oliver? Diggle asked.

Oliver looked up and shook his head. He really was a coward when it came to Felicity Smoak.

Diggle frowned.

"Oliver." He warned.

Oliver sighed, he knew Dig was right so Oliver picked the letter back up.

_At first I had no idea what I was going to do, after all I lives were not exactly a baby rearing environment. I was going to come and talk to you, but then I was worrying about the life you lead and being with someone you truly care about. At the time those words hurt some much but in that very moment as I stood with our child growing side of me I finally understood them. _

Oliver's breath quickened he had never known his words could bite him some much in the arse as as those words had.

_For the next two weeks I worked hard creating programmes to help you guys and teaching Roy and Sara as much as I could. I even taught Thea a few things just in case. Then I left. I knew you would look for me, I knew you all would. It just who you are. So I moved and made it so you couldn't track me to follow me. I couldn't say goodbye because leaving was hard and heart-breaking enough._

_Seven months later out Katya Livy Queen was born seven pounds four ounces. Katya means pure in Russian. I thought it suited her perfectly. She has really thin dirty blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes you've ever seen. She truly is the purest thing either of us have ever done. It's today the day of our beautiful little girl's birth that I write this letter to you. _

_There will be one of three reasons why you may have received this letter now; the first is simple because Katya is now 21 and I couldn't bear the thought of her having going her whole life with never having the chance to meet you. It will be her choice if she wants to meet you or not, but I think she will because I promise you I will tell her everyday about all the good you have done and all the good I know you're going to do. I'll tell her how much you would have adored and loved her. The second reason is much more grim and I hope you never end up reading because of this is that I am dead. God! What a horrible thought. But I want, no I need you to be there for our daughter, promise me you will tell her everyday how much I love her? The final reason is because my solicitor hasn't heard from me in two weeks, in which case please find out daughter and do whatever it takes to keep her safe. _

_In two weeks' time you will receive another letter with everything that has happened to date. But I beg you Oliver do not come into Katya's life unless you are prepare for what that means and do not open that letter if you are not. _

_So tell me Oliver Queen do you want to be a father?_

_Love always,_

_Felicity xoxo _

**Hey everyone, **

**This is my first Olicity Fic and I really love the characters so much especially Felicity and I am not quite sure how to write from her POV so if you have any pointers I would love to hear them because I would love to include some flashbacks of Oliver and Felicity together as the story progresses. **

**Anyway hope you enjoy xx**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Oliver looked down at the letter once again, he had a daughter and he had no idea what to do with that fact.

It had been three days since he had received the letter and he still hadn't done a thing about it. Part of him wanted to find out who Katya was, but the other part of him the part that always kept him a coward when it came to the people he cared about told him she was better off without him.

Then there was Felicity, the letter said there was three reason why he would have received the letter and he knew it couldn't have been the first because Katya wasn't twenty one yet which left either leaving Felicity dead or missing both thoughts devastated Oliver. Felicity had asked him to find their daughter and protect her if either of those two reasons were the cause but Katya had to be twenty by now would she resent him involving himself in her life now?

Oliver slammed his hand down in frustration. Felicity had to no she could have come to him about anything right? This was his daughter after all he deserved the right to no. Why couldn't she have told him? He thought she told him everything.

Oliver looked up, he was in the lair sitting in the chair that Felicity used to occupy. They hadn't change much just updated the systems and added a few bits of equipment but otherwise it was the same.

"How could she not say anything?" Oliver spat aloud.

Diggle was the only one who knew about Felicity's letter but Oliver knew he wouldn't keep it a secret for long. In his mind the decision was easy find Katya, find Felicity and get the answers they all craved. For Oliver however it wasn't that simple he still lived a dangerous life, sure the arrow had cleaned the streets up a lot and he didn't go out on patrol as much but that didn't mean someone wouldn't hurt her to get to him. That had been the main reason he had been so afraid to let Felicity in. At first he hadn't even been aware of his feelings for her, and in the end it was Sara who had ended up pointing it out to him.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Oliver paced back and forth as he waited for Felicity to come out of the shower. They had just come back from a mission where Felicity had needed to hack into mainframe of Starling City National bank so that they could follow the money trail of Nathan Jones a former MP who was using his connect all across the world to smuggle women into the country and straight into prostration. The police were aware of Mr Jones's work but had never been able to get enough evidence on the man to take him down for good. Felicity had tried to hack into Mr Jones records from outside of the bank but the banks defence had improved greatly since Walter took over and let left one choice and since the bank was hosting a ball to raise donations for the rebuilding of the glades it gave them the perfect opportunity to get into the bank, do what they needed to do and get out again without anyone knowing anything. Oliver hated it when Felicity went into the field, it was too dangerous and he couldn't be completely sure that he could keep her safe. In the lair she was safe but out there it wasn't and tonight had just proven his point. _

_At first everything was going as planned, they had arrived at the ball dance and made a show of themselves to make an appearance, Oliver even danced with Felicity. He could feel how nervous she was when he held her in his arms but he never commented knowing full well Felicity wouldn't thank him for it, but still he let things go ahead. He led her out back keeping track of guards. His objective was to get Felicity in and out safely while Sara and Roy kept guard the outside and Diggle covered for them inside. When Sara called for help Oliver left reluctantly to help, Felicity telling him she would be fine. When Oliver got to Sara he realised the problem Nathan Jones was at the ball something which they hadn't anticipated and he wasn't alone he had brought plenty of guards with him. When he and Sara were done with some of his guards he realised that Nathan himself was nowhere to be seen, he checked in with Diggle and Roy who had been having trouble of his own and no one had seen him. _

"_That's because he's here." Felicity voice came over the com, he heard the tremble in her voice and he moved quicker than he had ever moved in his life Sara and Roy right behind him. Oliver had not doubt Diggle would be trying to get to her also while trying to keep their cover. _

_When he got to the server room of the bank he watched in horror as Jones slammed her into the wall, his hands trawling her body much like the Count had. Felicity already had what looked like a split lip._

"_That will teach you to touch what isn't yours." Jones spat. _

_It made his blood boil Oliver moved towards Jones just as shoved his mouth onto Felicity's. Oliver yanked him off her sending him flying. Felicity's eyes widened as Oliver jumped Jones punching him over and over again. _

"_Oliver," they all called; Sara, Roy and Diggle but it was Felicity's voice that stopped him. _

"_Please Oliver," she had begged. _

_Oliver pulled back but didn't let go of Jones. _

"_I got what we need to take down Jones, turns out he was keeping all his records in a safe deposit box here in the bank. That's what I was checking out when he found me." Felicity said. _

_Oliver hated how pale and scared she looked._

_Oliver punched Jones again for making her this way. _

"_Oliver please don't." she begged again this time grabbing his arm. _

_Oliver looked at her face and all his anger left him, she needed him. Oliver dropped Jones and pulled Felicity into his arms. He held her tightly as she trembled, not doubt the adrenaline was running off. Oliver didn't let go of her even as they took her back to the lair. Felicity had been silent and the moment the car stopped she got out and practically ran into the side entrance. Oliver had caught Digs eye in the re-view mirror of the car, he was just as worried about her as Oliver himself was. They followed Felicity into the lair Roy got to the bottom of the stairs first and picked something from the floor. Roy turned to them frowning as he held up Felicity's dress in his hands. _

"_Is she ok?" Roy asked and Oliver shook his head._

_Oliver could hear the faint sound of the shower. _

"_I'll go check on her." Sara said before heading over to the bathroom. _

_Leaving Oliver pacing back and forth._

_After half an hour Sara comes out looking grim. _

"_Is she ok?" Oliver repeats Roy's earlier question. _

_None of them had moved, Diggle had been cleaning his gun, Roy was practicing his aim and Oliver had been pacing, but they all stop as Sara comes out and they wait for her to answer._

_Sara shook her head and Oliver slams his hand down on desk. _

"_We should have been there." Oliver yells. _

"_I should have been there." He corrects himself, it was his job to get her in and out of there safely not theirs but he couldn't even do that right. _

"_Oliver it wasn't your fault you did what any of us would have done." Diggle argued. _

_Oliver shook his head. _

"_Then why does it feel like it is?" Oliver growled in frustration. _

_The room feel silent. _

"_Because you're in love with her." Sara spoke softly. _

_Oliver's eyes darted to Sara, he opened his mouth to tell her she was wrong put she put her hand out to stop him. _

"_Come on Oliver you can't be that blind." She said. _

_Oliver took a deep breath and Sara smiled sadly. _

"_I've seen the way you look at her, how all she has to do to make you smile is to look at you. You laugh with her Ollie, I mean really laugh." Sara explained. _

"_She's my friend." Oliver argued weakly. _

_Sara laughed softly._

"_Digs your friend I don't see you touch Dig the way you touch Felicity." Sara pointed out. _

"_That's different …" Oliver tried but he knew that she was right. Sometimes he touched Felicity just to tell himself that there was good out there. Sometimes he touched her to reassure himself she was real. It often baffled him how someone that remarkable could be so real._

_Sara shook her head._

"_We can all see it Ollie why can't you?" she asked. _

_Oliver looked over Roy as if looking for someone else to agree with him._

"_She is the only one you listen too." Roy pointed out._

_Oliver shook his head before looking over at Diggle. _

"_You went after the huntress only when she went after Felicity." Diggle comment. _

"_Helena had gone too far." Oliver argued. _

_Diggle smiled sadly. _

"_You killed the Count." Diggle said. _

"_He was going to kill her." Oliver argued. _

"_But you shot three arrows Oliver. Three. Even after Thea nearly died because of his drug you let him live but the moment Felicity life was in danger you kill him and not just with one arrow Oliver. Three arrows." Diggle reminded him. _

_Oliver cringed at that thought, he closed his eyes trying to rid his mind of the memories of her tied to the chair. He knew Diggle had a point but the moment the Count put that syringe to her neck Oliver had never been more afraid, his anger got the better of him and he shot and kept shooting till he couldn't shoot anymore. _

_He looked back at Sara. _

"_You. Love. Her." Sara said making every one of those words clear. _

_Oliver could see those times he simply smiled because on her, she was his light. The only thing good he had. Roy was right, he listened to her because she kept him grounded, she keep the little good that remained in him alive. _

_Oliver face softened. _

"_I'm sorry." He mumbled to Sara. _

_Sara shook her head. _

"_You did nothing wrong Ollie." She said sincerely. _

_She looked towards the bathroom door the shower had stopped. _

"_Go, tell her how you feel." Sara instructed. _

_Oliver shook his head. Just because he could finally see it didn't mean he was going anything about it. Felicity was safer without him. _

"_No, she is safer if she doesn't no." Oliver said adamantly. _

"_Don't you think that's her choice to make?" Diggle pointed out. _

_Oliver shrugged and opened his mouth to answer when the bathroom door opened and Felicity stepped out. _

"_You ok?" Oliver asked. _

_Felicity smiled sadly and nodded. _

"_I'm fine." She lied. _

_Oliver sighed. She may not be fine in this moment but she will be, because he would make sure of it._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Oliver sighed heavily. There had been so many times that he had let Felicity down. Not just Felicity but pretty much everyone he care about and he wasn't about to do that to his daughter.

Oliver folder up the letter and placed it back in his pocket, he would wait till Felicity's next letter but for now Katya was better off without him.

* * *

Katya Queen slammed her hand down in frustration.

"Dam it." She screamed in frustration.

She had been at it for days but her computer system just wasn't good enough, she needed something better.

Tears prickled her eyes.

She was running out of options.

The screen saver came on to the screen of her laptop, it was a picture of her and her mother when she was about 7. It had been just the two of them her entire life. Her mother had been her strength, her rock though all the ups and downs that life had to throw at them and now her mother needed her and she was failing big time.

Katya knew something had been off with her mother for months but she had been so busy with school she ignored it.

"I am so sorry mum." Katya cried.

The screen changed again and a picture of her mother came up the screen with three man and two women. Her mother said this was her family Uncle Diggle, Aunty Sara, Aunty Thea, Uncle Roy and her father Oliver Queen. She hadn't met them and none of the new about her but her mother said all she had to do was go to them and they would help her.

Her mother's words pieced her mind.

"_If anything happens to me go to them, they'll keep you safe." Her mother told her._

Katya looked at the picture once more. They looked happy. Her mother looked happy it was so rarely that her mother ever smiled like that. It seemed almost like something was constantly missing from her mother's life.

Right now being safe was the last thing on her mind, all she cared about was finding her mother. But Oliver Queen was also the arrow at least that's what her mother told her, he had to have a better system. If she could get access to it maybe she stood a chance on finding her mother.

Mind made up, Katya picked up her keys. It was about time she met her father.

**Note: Hi everyone just want to say thank you for reading and for your comments I love reading them. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will try to update again as soon as I can. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Oliver kicked off his shoes as he placed his keys in the dish by his front door.

"Ollie is that you?" his sisters voice called from his kitchen.

Oliver inwardly groaned.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see his sister because he did but she only ever came round this late when she was either hiding from Roy after an argument or she was about to lecture him about something.

"Hey Speedy." Oliver said kissing his sisters cheek.

Thea rolled her eyes at his only nickname for her.

"Don't you think I'm a little old for that?" she asked.

Oliver smiled and shook his head.

"You'll never be too old for that." He told her fondly, remembering the first time she asked him this.

It was just after she had given birth to her first child, Thomas Robert Harper. He had congratulated her by calling her speedy she smiled tiredly and asked him whether he thought she was too old for that.

Thea sighed trying to hide her smile.

Oliver took a beer out of the fridge.

"What you doing here speedy?" Oliver asked.

Thea looked up at her face serious.

"Laurels back." Thea said.

A breath rushed from Oliver.

"Thea, Laurel and I have been divorced for almost four years it's none of my business what she does anymore." Oliver replied honestly.

About eight years after Felicity left him and Laurel got close again and a year later they were married. Oliver loved Laurel he really did and for a while he had convinced himself that what they had was good enough. But when the computers in the lair picked up trace of Felicity all Oliver could think about was finding Felicity his mind became so consumed and he ended up pushing Laurel away.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Oliver rushed in to the apartment, barley taking notice of anything around him. _

"_Ollie?" Laurel called. _

_Oliver froze and looked over at her. She looked beautiful, she wore and simple red dress that showed of her curves nicely, her hair hung loosely round her shoulders. _

"_I thought you forgot." She said a smile graced her face. _

_Oliver frowned. Forgot what? An alert from Felicity's credit card had come up and they were using it to try and find her. _

_The smiled dropped from Laurels face. _

"_You did forget didn't you?" Laurel asked. _

_He had been so consumed with finding Felicity he kept missing his plans with Laurel. He looked around the room. There were candles on a perfectly arranged table. _

_Oliver groaned. They were meant to be having dinner tonight to sort things out between. _

"_Laurel I'm sorry." Oliver said stepping forward. _

_Laurel held up her hand and stepped back. _

"_I can't believe you forgot." Laurel said shaking her head. _

"_What the hell is more important than fixing our marriage?" she asked. _

_Oliver shook his head and opened his mouth to reply when his phone went off he looked down at the text message from Roy. _

_Got the location, ready to leave when you are._

_Oliver sighed. _

"_I have to go." Oliver said looking up from his phone._

_Laurel shook her head. _

"_You leave now Oliver and were over." Laurel said to him. _

_Oliver took a deep breath. He couldn't even say he was surprised they had been arguing so much lately if he was honest with himself, he had been waiting for her to leave. Ever since he got the alert about Felicity she was all he could think about. How much he hurt her? How much he had let her down. He needed to fix things, he didn't know how yet but he would fix things._

"_I have to go." Oliver said. _

_He moved towards Laurel and kissed her cheek. _

"_We will talk about this when I get back." Oliver said. _

_He kissed her forehead before heading to the door._

"_I won't be here when you get back." Laurel warned. _

_END OF FLASHBACK _

"I just want you to be happy." Thea replied.

Oliver moved away from his sister but she followed him.

"Neither Laurel or I were happy, not really." Oliver confessed.

Thea grabbed his arm to stop him from moving.

"Felicity is gone Oliver, don't you think it's time to let her go." Thea replied almost begging.

Oliver shook his head. That was his problem. In every relationship he had before, after and even in his relationship with Laurel, they weren't Felicity so something was always felt wrong or missing.

Oliver gently took Thea's hand away from his own.

He wished letting Felicity go was that simple but it wasn't and now with Katya, letting go was something he couldn't do.

* * *

Katya pressed her head to the table. Pain stabbed her head in the form of a headache.

"You needed to sleep kitty Kat." A deep familiar voice said from above her.

Katya sat up slowly and opened her eyes just as her childhood friend Jay slid into her booth opposite her.

Jay Baxter was the boy next door literally. Two years older than her Jay taught her a lot. They grew up together, his mother was a good friend of her own mother and when she died Jay had been barley 15 so her mother took him in. When he was 16 he joined the army and he lived with them every time he came home on leave.

"Sleep is over rated." Katya lied.

She hadn't slept properly in days and that's why she had the headache now.

Jay laughed. She squinted at him. Not that she would ever tell him this but Jay was unbelievably handsome. He was tall with broad shoulders and a muscular frame. He had short black hair and dark eyes.

Jay handed her a glass of water.

"Drink, eat, take a tablet then go get some sleep." Jay ordered.

Katya shook her head only to wince.

"Don't have time." She said seriously.

Jay leant forward frowning.

"I know you want to find your mum but you're no good to anyone like this." He pointed out.

Katya glared at him but Jay just shrugged.

"You know I'm right." He added.

Katya ignored him as the waitress brought them some menus. They ordered and the waitress disappeared.

"What's your plan anyway?" he asked.

Katya hated it when he got like this. Jay was so reasonable, but right now that was the last thing she needed.

"I am just going to talk to him." Katya replied.

Jay took a deep breath.

"So what you just going to knock on the door and go hi I know you don't know me but I'm your daughter, oh and can I borrow your computer." Jay said sarcastically.

Katya stood up.

"I don't have a choice." She spat back through gritted teeth.

She turned to leave but Jay grabbed her hand.

"I'm sorry." He muttered softly.

Katya softened.

"I know you just want to find Felicity," He reasoned.

Katya nodded and sat down slowly.

"Anything could be happening too her, I need to find her." Katya said tears filling her eyes.

Jay's hand caught her face gently as tears slid down her cheeks, Katya leant into his touch.

"I know kitty Kat but remember he doesn't know who you are, it's going to hard just spring yourself on him." Jay replied.

Katya nodded.

"I know. I know." She cried pulling away.

After they finished eating then they left diner.

"What happens now?" Jay asked.

Katya looked at him.

"I found his address, just before you got here." Katya said.

Jay nodded.

"So you heading there now?" he questioned.

Katya nodded as Jay pulled her gently into her arms.

"Take care of yourself." He whispered pressing a kiss to her hair.

"I will." She promised.

Jay pulled away and looked down at her.

"Call me if you need anything." He ordered.

Katya nodded.

She hugged him quickly once more before turning round and hurrying to find a taxi.

* * *

Oliver typed her name into the search bar. He stared at it. It had been almost a week since he had received Felicity's letter and with every passing day it was getting harder and harder not to press enter.

"You know you should just do it already." Dig's deep voice rumbled from behind him.

Oliver shook his head.

Felicity hid Katya from him for a reason he was dangerous, his life was dangerous.

"No." Oliver replied.

He heard Dig's sigh of frustration.

"You no Felicity better than you no yourself." Diggle pointed out.

Oliver looked at his friend.

"She would have come to me if something was wrong." Oliver argued.

Diggle shook his head.

"Would she?" he asked.

Oliver frowned as he thought. Felicity talked a lot but when it came to her life she didn't really tell them anything.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Oliver frowned at the silence, sure there were a few grunts from training but there was no talking. Felicity should have been here by now. He jumped down from the salmon ladder and looked around the room. Dig was cleaning his gun and occasionally giving tips to Roy as he and Sara spared. But no Felicity. _

"_Anyone heard from Felicity?" he found himself asking. _

_It wasn't like her not be here. _

_Roy and Sara stopped sparing at looked over at him. _

"_Nope not today." Sara replied frowning as if it was unusual._

_Roy shook his head. _

"_Me either," Roy said._

_Oliver frowned trying to think about the last time we had seen Felicity. _

"_I spoke to her yesterday but she seemed kind of distant." Diggle added interrupting his thoughts. _

_Now that he thought about Felicity had been quite the last week. _

"_Was she not at QC today?" Sara asked. _

_Oliver shook his head. Felicity had asked for this day off a couple of weeks ago and he had given it to her without a second thought. _

"_It was her day off." Oliver explained. _

_Oliver picked up his phone and dialled Felicity's number. Something didn't feel right to him. When it went straight to voicemail Oliver looked over at Diggle. _

"_She asked for the day off maybe she thought that include here too." Diggle offered, but Oliver could tell even he didn't believe it. _

_Oliver frowned something wasn't right. He told himself that he would give her to the end of the day to contact them and if he hadn't heard from her by then, he would look for her._

_Oliver dialled Felicity's number this time leaving a message telling her just that. _

_They went about the rest of their night as usual but when it got to midnight and Olive still hadn't heard back from Felicity he panicked. He sent the others home promising to call him, when he heard something or if he couldn't find her. _

_He tried her house first, but nothing. He looked for any sign of her but nothing. Her bed was made. Her kitchen was clean, there was no sign on her tablet or phone which meant she had them with her. He tried QC next but the security guard had said he hadn't seen Miss Smoak since the night before. _

_Oliver was running out of ideas and he had no idea where to check next. He checked a couple of bars he knew she occasionally went to with friends but nothing he headed back to the lair, to see if he could track her using the GPS from her phone. _

_He pounded down the stairs, but froze at the sight before him. Felicity sat on the training mats with a bottle what looked like tequila in her hand. She took a swig from the bottle, unaware of his presences. As he got closer he took in her appearance she wore a plan black dress with long sleeves and fell just below the knee. Her hair hung in lost waves to the left side of her face. _

"_Oliver." She gasped when she caught sight of him. _

_Felicity looked away quickly her hands going to her face to wipe away her tears. _

_Her face was whipped of any makeup, her eyes red and swollen. _

"_What's wrong?" Oliver asked softly. _

_Felicity shook her head. _

"_Nothing." She replied instantly. _

_She took a swig from the bottle. _

_Oliver sighed and sat down next to her. _

"_Why are you crying?" he tried again. _

_Felicity sniffed. _

"_I'm fine." She lied. _

_She drunk more from the bottle and Oliver winced as he noticed that the bottle was already half empty, she was going to have a hell of a headache in the morning. _

_Oliver reached for the bottle but Felicity stood up moving out of his reach. _

"_Felicity you've had enough." He reasoned standing up and following her. _

_Felicity shook her head he begun pacing on unsteady feet._

"_Not nearly enough." She argued. _

_She took another swig from the bottle. _

"_Felicity," Oliver said trying to take the bottle from her. _

_Felicity slapped his hand away. _

"_No. You don't get to tell me what to do." Felicity cried. _

_Oliver frowned at her whatever got her to this state tonight was serious and he wanted nothing more than to fix this. He hated how upset she was. Felicity was a bright light and to see her like this was heart-breaking._

"_I just want to help you." Oliver reasoned. _

_Felicity shook her head the tears falling faster. _

"_No, you don't get to do that." She yelled her tiny fist pounding his chest. _

"_It's your fault I didn't know." She cried hitting him again. _

_Oliver took every hit, he had no idea what she was talking about but it seemed like it was helping her in some way. _

"_It's your fault I wasn't there when she needed me and now she's dead." She screamed punching him again and again._

"_My mum is dead and I wasn't even there." She sobbed. _

_Oliver wrapped his arms around her, it all making sense to him._

_Felicity sobbed, the fight leaving her and she let herself fall into his chest. Oliver wrapped his arms around her tighter. He never said a word, he let her cry herself out. _

_She pulled away from him. _

"_I'm sorry." She whispered. _

_Oliver shook his head and smiled softly. _

"_You have nothing to be sorry for." He told her. _

_Felicity looked at him, tears filling her eyes._

"_What happened?" Oliver asked. _

_Felicity cried as she told him everything. Her mother had been ill but didn't want to tell Felicity over the phone, she had been asking Felicity to visit but they had been so busy Felicity never got the chance. She cried even harder as she told him, about the call from her aunt just over a week ago telling her that her mother was dead. The funeral had been today._

_Guilt flooded him that he hadn't even noticed the pay she had been in. _

"_I am so sorry." Oliver said. _

_Felicity shook her head. _

"_I should have gone home sooner, it was my choice to stay, and you didn't force me too." Felicity argued. _

_Oliver pulled her into his arms. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Your right." Oliver confessed.

Dig was right, Oliver new that. Felicity often carried her problems around with her by herself. It had taken a week for them to find out her mother was dead.

"Felicity doesn't do things without reasons." Diggle reminded him.

Oliver nodded. He took a deep breath. Felicity needed him, Katya need him.

Oliver pressed enter to the keyboard and the search began.

**Hi everyone, I just want to say thank you for reading and for your reviews. I promise Oliver and Katya will meet in the next chapter. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

A few minutes later a young women face appears on the screen. She smiled happily in a Yale medical school ID badge. Her dirty blonde hair is short, falling to just above her shoulders in lose curls. Her eyes; big and beautiful bright blue, just like her mothers.

"She's beautiful." Dig commented from beside him.

Oliver nodded feeling numb, he scrolls down. This is his daughter and he is so unsure how to feel about that fact.

He reads as it gives him a rundown of her education. She graduated high school early with early admission to Yale University before moving on to the medical school.

Oliver can't help the proud smile that comes to his face.

Dig's low whistle of appreciation tells Oliver he is feeling the same thing.

"That it?" Dig asks.

Oliver scrolls down but the rest of the page is blank.

Oliver nods, frustrated.

"How can that be it?" Oliver asks, scrolling down again hoping to find out more but the screen is still blank.

Oliver can't help but feel truly disappointed and he scrolls back up to Katya's picture. He may not know enough about his daughter but at least he now know what she looks like.

"What now Dig?" Oliver asks.

Dig puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's start with her school and work form there." Dig suggests.

Oliver nods, knowing there is no other option.

Nurse Jackie Williams walks into patient Jane Doe's room. Jane was admit about a week ago bruised and broken, with no form of identification. They took bloods and check dentals but they couldn't find a record for her and since Jane still hasn't woken up yet they can do nothing but wait.

"Good morning Jane." Jackie says with a small smile on her face.

They tell you to talk to coma patients, that it helps to reassure them that someone is there waiting for them to come back. Jackie knows that her voice probably isn't what Jane wants to hear but any voice has got to be better than none.

Jackie checks Jane's vitals, she starts with her temperature before moving on to her pulse and then blood pressure.

When she's done Jackie takes out the hairbrush she left in the draw a few days ago and gently begins brushing Jane's silky blonde hair.

"I have hair like yours it's such a pain to untangle isn't it?" Jackie asks, she knows she won't get an answer but it makes Jackie feel better to ask anyway.

The bruises on Jane's face are healing nicely fading to a dark yellow instead of the horrible black and purple that in once was. When Jackie first started working Jane's room her bruises had made her face swell up really badly but now Jackie can see Jane must be in her late forties. Maybe she had a husband who is missing her or children what need their mother.

"Maybe I'll check with missing person's to see if I can find your family for you." Jackie offers.

Deep down Jackie knows it's a long shot but she has become attached to Jane, because it makes her sad that Jane has no one. She wishes to could find out Jane's real name so that when Jane wakes up, she surrounded by the people that love her.

Jackie sighs as she puts the hairbrush away.

"Well Jane I'll check on you later." Jackie says.

She makes one final check of the room before heading out.

"Bye Jane." She calls over her shoulder.

Oliver walks into his building rubbing his head, Dig following closely behind.

"It's not over Oliver." Dig promises.

Oliver stops and looks over at his friend.

"You heard what the school said Katya hasn't been there in days and we can't get any of her information without either her or Felicity's permission." Oliver reminds his friend.

Dig sighs.

"You're forgetting about the letters." Dig points out.

Oliver begins walking again.

"The next one should be here soon." Oliver adds.

Dig nods as they wait for the elevator to arrive.

Oliver hates to wait but he knows it's their only option.

"If only we could find out who her attorney was then maybe we could get whatever Felicity was going to send me sooner." Oliver wonders aloud.

Dig nods again in agreement as they get out the elevator and walk towards his front door.

Dig freeze.

"What's wrong?" Oliver asks instantly alert.

He may not be the arrow full time now but he still notices when something doesn't feel right.

Dig nods towards the door and Oliver can see it's already open.

"The alarm should have gone off." Oliver whispers fiercely.

Dig takes out his gun and Oliver opens the door slowly preparing himself for a fight.

When the door swings open Oliver can't see anything out of place but he looks towards the alarm fully functioning and still running.

"Looks like whoever it is knows the code." Dig comments.

Oliver nods in agreement but doesn't relax completely. They walk around the apartment together clearing rooms, finding nothing out of place.

"Maybe you forgot to shut the door." Dig offers.

Oliver frowns, he was egger to get rid of Thea he could off but he has never done it before so it still leaves Oliver feeling unsure.

They move in to the living room last.

"Guess I did forget the door." Oliver says when they find nothing.

"Maybe not." Dig replies pointing to the sofa calmly.

Oliver moves round the room to stand beside Dig, to see what he sees.

Oliver can see an unfamiliar laptop on his coffee table and a pair of black and pink converses that are far too small to belong to him. Oliver stands next to Dig and can finally see what his friend sees. A young women is curled up a sleep on his sofa. She is short no more than 5'3 with dirty blonde curly hair that is covering her face.

Oliver sucks in breath.

"You don't think…" he mumbles aloud unable to finish, Katya's image appearing in his mind.

Dig has already moved towards the girl when she moves and they both freeze. Her hair falls away from her face and Oliver can see even without her opening eyes that she is the girl from the photo earlier.

"That Katya found you?" Dig finishes for him.

"Yeah, yeah I do." Dig adds.

Dig moved his hand as if to wake her up.

"Don't." Oliver said.

Dig looks over at him confused.

Oliver takes a deep breath, this is all happening very fast and he needs to prepare himself before he can speak to her.

"She is obviously tired, we should let her sleep." Oliver reasons.

Dig nods although Oliver is pretty sure Dig can see through his crap but he lets it go anyway.

A banging sound brings Katya out of her sleep. She blinks awake trying to remember where she is.

"Shit." She mutters as she remembers, breaking into her father's apartment.

She looked around the room. It wasn't what she was expecting it was simple. When her mother had told her who her father was she expect big and extravagant.

Katya sat up slowly, looking around for her phone. She found it face down on the floor.

Katya picks up her phone to check how long she has been asleep for.

"Dam it." She groans notice the four miss text from Jay.

_Kitty Kat I know you want to do this on your own but call me if you need anything- J x_

_How is it going with you dad? Come to my place when you're done and we can figure out where to go from their- J x_

_Katya you ok?- J x_

_:) You fell asleep didn't you Kitty Kat? Haha text me when you wake up- J x_

Katya quickly types a reply as she hears noise coming from the kitchen.

_Nobody likes a smartarse, will call you soon K x_

Katya moves away from the sofa slowly.

"You're awake." A deep voice comments from behind her making Katya jump.

Katya spins round on her heal to find her father standing there, he is different then she imagined he was taller and stronger. His hair was starting to go grey unlike her mother who was still dying it her father seemed to be going grey gracefully and it suited him.

"Hi." Katya stutters.

She has seen pictures of him before but they are nothing when it comes to seeing him face to face.

Oliver smiles and Katya can't help but smile back.

"How did you get in here?" he asks looking generally intrigued.

"Snuck past the security guard, picked the locks then hacked the alarm. I would say your security system needs some work but I am just good at what I do." Katya replied she couldn't help the smug smile that came to her face. Her mother really was a bad influence when it came to hacking.

Oliver laughed.

Katya smiled again.

Oliver had let her sleep, even given her a blanket by the looks of it. Her being here didn't seem to surprise him.

"You know who I am?" she asked.

Oliver nodded slowly.

Katya frowned.

"How?" she questioned.

"Felicity wrote a letter." Oliver replied, saying her mother's name like it hurt.

"What letter, can I see it?" Katya asked quickly.

Maybe the letter could tell her more about where her mother was now or what was going on with her when she disappeared.

Oliver sighed.

"How about we talk over dinner?" Oliver offered.

Katya shook her head.

"I'm not hungry." Katya replied instantly, she didn't mean for it to come out as bitter as it did.

Katya's mind was running over all the information her mother could have left in that letter.

"Katya I just want to talk to you that's all." Oliver reasoned.

Katya eyes darted to his she could see the truth in his words and as much as she wanted to give him the chance to get to know her, she knew she wouldn't be able to until she knew her mother was safe.

"I can't." she whispered.

She could see the disappointment on her Oliver face and she hated it.

"I'm sorry." She added.

Oliver sighed.

"You came her for a reason?" Oliver reminded her.

Katya nodded she swallowed back her emotions.

"I came to ask for your help." She replied.

Oliver face to serious ready for action.

"What do you need?" He asked.

Katya began pacing. Maybe she wouldn't have to ask for his help just yet.

"My mum's in trouble and letter might help me help her." Katya reasoned.

Oliver shook his head.

"I don't see how." He reasoned.

Katya stopped pacing and she looked over at him.

"Please." Katya begged.

"I need to help her." Katya added.

Oliver nodded before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a crumpled envelope. He slowly handed it over to her.

Katya took the letter and read it, hope slowly dying in her until she got to the last paragraph, her attorney. Katya didn't even know her mother had an attorney.

"Did you get the next letter?" Katya asked looking back over at Oliver.

Oliver shook his head.

"Not yet." Oliver replied.

"Dam it." Katya muttered in frustration.

But if Oliver didn't have the letter then that meant it was still with her mother's attorney, but attorney client confidentiality would keep her for getting the letters. Which left her with two options wait for Oliver to receive the next one or track down her mother's attorney and break in to his office. Waiting was not an option.

"I have to go." Katya said quickly gathering her stuff.

Oliver grabbed Katya's hand stopping her from moving.

Katya looked at her hand in her fathers.

"You not leaving until you tell me what's going on." Oliver said determinedly, his jaw set as if he wasn't giving her room to argue.

Katya shook her head.

"I don't have time." She reasoned.

"Katya, I just find out your my daughter I can't just let you go." Oliver replied desperately.

Katya took a shaky breath. He was everything like her mother had told her he would be and so much more.

"My mum is missing and that letter gave me an idea of how to find her." Katya confessed.

Oliver face turned serious.

"What happened?" he asked.

Katya shrugged.

"I don't know but I'm going to find out." She replied.

She moved away from her father towards the door.

"Katya talk to me let me help you." He pleaded.

Katya opened the door.

"I promise you I will come back and tell you everything." Katya swore.

Oliver opened his mouth to argue but Katya left her feet pounding down the stairs.

She dialled a familiar number and Jay picked up on first ring.

"How did it go?" he asked.

Katya ignored his question.

"How do you feel about breaking and entering?" she countered.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

"I don't like this idea." Jay said.

Katya rolls her eyes.

"Serious kitty Kat, breaking and entering?" He says shaking his head.

Katya groaned, she didn't want to go over the plan anymore, she just wanted to get it done. When she got back to Jay's apartment it took her two hours to track down who her mother's attorney was and another half an hour to find out where his office was.

"What else do you suggest?" Katya argues.

"I don't know how about talking to the man." Jay says spastically.

Katya glares at him and doesn't even dignify that with a response. Her mother's attorney would have to follow her mother's wishes to the t and if she didn't want Katya seeing anything than she wouldn't be seeing them and even if her mother didn't mind it that could take days and that she didn't have.

Jay sighs.

"What about you dad I mean he is the arrow?" Jay points out.

"Was." Katya corrects.

Jay frowns.

"Was?" he asks.

Katya nods.

"Mum said she is sure Roy took over most the arrow stuff but that my dad still helps out." Katya replies instantly.

Jay nods if he understands.

"But still he was the arrow why not just as him for help?" Jay questions.

Katya stands frustrated she shouldn't have to explain herself to him she never has before but for some reason Jay is pushing her to have a relationship with her father and she is not sure why it's suddenly so important to him.

"If you don't want to help me fine, I'll go alone." Katya said.

Katya goes to leave but Jay grabs her arm.

"I am not saying that and you no it." He argues. Katya can hear the annoyance in his voice and she know she's offended him with her comment.

Katya turns slowly and looks at him. She is tired and so confused and right now she needs Jay to be Jay she has always known, constant and one of the only variables in her life that doesn't change and is always there for her not matter what. But something is different in Jay and has been ever since her mum disappeared but she can't quite place it.

"Will you help me?" she asks, her voice is soft and vulnerable, she hates that she is almost begging.

Jay moves closer to her his hand moving from her arm to her hand. He threads their hands together. He is standing so close that Katya has to look up to see his face but she is afraid of what she will see if she does.

It's not that she has never thought about a relationship with Jay she has but she needs him more than she ever likes admit to, the only one who knows that is her mum and that's the ways she wants to keep it because the truth is you can never go back and losing Jay is not worth the risk.

"You know I will." He says softly bring her out of her thoughts.

Katya swallows hard and nods before slowly looking up at him. She knows he deserves some sort of explanation but she can't do it standing this close, so she moves away from him.

"She loves him you know, even now." Katya says.

She turns her back and begins pacing.

She knows Jay is listening to her without looking.

"She talk about him like he was this amazing caring man but when she thought I was asleep those days I used to ask her about him, I would hear her cry herself to sleep." Katya explains.

"It wasn't till I was 15 that I found out why." She says softly, this is the part that she hates.

Her mother was always strong not matter what, but when she thought no one was looking then she would let her insecurities get the better of her.

"I was meant to be staying at a friends but I changed my mind at the last minute, though I forgot to let her know and she came home late, drunk as a stunk." Katya added the memory fresh in her mind.

"The first time they kissed it was for a mission." Katya states telling Jay exactly what her mother told her.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Felicity felt her heartbeat increase at Oliver's closeness. It wasn't that she didn't understand why Oliver was standing that close to her after all they were on a mission and he was trying to keep her safe. They were at a party of a 1 % were Felicity had gone as Oliver's plus one because Sara was out of town. Normally when Felicity went on missions she was need to hack into something but no tonight. Tonight she was just needed to be Oliver's beard while he broke into their targets office and looked for his books. They had made sure people saw them at the party by dancing together on the dance floor after and talking to a number of guest. Felicity face hurt from fake smiling so much and when they made their break for it half an hour in Felicity couldn't be more grateful. They walked towards the targets office in silence, Oliver to concern about them getting caught. Oliver is in and out of the targets office in less than five minutes. _

"_How did it go?" Felicity asks in a hushed whisper. _

_Oliver just looks at her as if he is offended that she thought he might fail. _

_Felicity can't help but laugh and Oliver smiles. She loves Oliver's smiles so much, the real ones not the fake ones but the ones that only a few people get to see. _

"_Who's there?" Someone calls out. _

_Felicity gasps just as Oliver curses. He looks around for somewhere to hide but there isn't anyway. _

"_Dam it." Oliver mutters and before Felicity can ask what, her back hits the wall and Oliver's lips are crushed against hers. _

_It took Felicity a while to figure out what was going on before she kissed him back. Oliver's arms were round Felicity's waist pulling her close to him. Kissing Oliver was nothing like she expected instead it's much more, his lips are soft and demanding. Part of her knows this is just for show but the other part of her, the part that ends up pulling on his lapels and bringing him closer before her arms wind round his neck. She is on her tip toes, trying to get as close to Oliver as she can. He tightens his arm around her. If she hadn't been so engrossed in Oliver she might of heard how close the footsteps had gotten and how someone cleared their throat but all she could feel was Oliver's mouth on hers and the way his tongue swept into her mouth as if was memorising every inch of her mouth. Oliver's mouth moved to her neck and all Felicity thoughts have turned to mush because all there is nothing that makes her go weaker at the knees then being kissed on her neck like that. _

"_Maybe it's time for a cab." A deep voice suggests from behind them. _

_Felicity pulls away embarrassed, she looks down while Oliver charms the guard and before she knows it he is pulling her towards the exit. They don't talk about it not in the car journey afterwards, or during the three hours she spends shifting through all the paper work and it doesn't bother in the slightest after all it was just for cover. _

_It isn't until a couple of hours later when she's at home just getting out the shower and she sees herself in the mirror a mark from his lips on her neck that it hits her and she cries. She cries because she knows it won't happen again, she cries because she wants it to and she cries because no matter what she knows Oliver will not acknowledge what happened and somehow that hurts more than anything. She cries herself to sleep that night and she goes it to work the next day as if nothing happened. _

_Its two more weeks before it finally becomes too much and no matter how hard she tries she cannot get that kiss out of her head or the want of that kiss and its killing her._

"_You ok?" Diggle asks softly. _

_She knows that she has been acting differently and she is seriously trying not too but it's hard and emotions not matter how much we like to think, they are really hard to get over. _

"_Nope." She says but the way she tells him she really doesn't want to talk about it. _

_Felicity can tell Diggle is hesitant to let her go but gratefully she does. _

_She avoids work and the lair for two days straight. Only sending a message to Dig to say she is fine and that she just wants to be left alone. That doesn't stop any of them from calling but she ignores the calls. _

_Oliver comes to her house on the third day and enters without knocking. She is packing, she decided that she needed to get over her thing for Oliver and the only way she could do that was by not seeing Oliver. _

"_You're leaving?" he asks. _

_His eyes wide as he looks round the room, eyes settling on her open suitcase. _

_His voice makes her jump. _

"_What are you doing here?" she demands, suddenly furious that his hasn't respect her need to be left alone. _

"_You're leaving?" he asks again completely ignoring her question. _

_Felicity moves to go past him and out the room but he grabs her arm and stops her._

"_Answer me Felicity." He orders. _

_Felicity can see that he is angry but she doesn't care, she is angry too. _

"_That's none of your business." She shouts back. _

_She tries to move again but Oliver doesn't let her. He moves closer to her and Felicity moves back until her back hits her bedroom door. _

"_Talk to me." He begs his tone different almost begging. _

_It breaks Felicity and she hates herself for it._

"_I can't do this anymore." She whispers fresh tears falling down her cheeks. _

"_Do what?" he asks softly trying to understand what the hell is going on with her. _

_Felicity looks away from him, she wants nothing more than to run and hide because it's humiliating and she knows Oliver would never let her. _

"_You shouldn't have kissed me." She says. _

_She can fill Oliver tense up. _

"_Is that what this is about?" he asks. _

_Felicity ignores his question. _

_Oliver pulls her chin up so she is looking at him in the eyes. _

"_You shouldn't have kissed me." Felicity repeats. _

"_Why?" he asks. _

"_I know why you did it, I do. I mean we were in trouble and we need to escape and we couldn't which left us with little option but couldn't you have just faked it. You should have faked it, it wouldn't hurt this much if you faked it." Felicity spoke quickly._

_Felicity closes her eyes and puts her hand to her mouth realising what she just said, she wishes the ground would swallow her up but it still wouldn't change what she just said. _

"_Felicity." Her name falls from his mouth in a way no one else says and her eyes instantly open again. _

_Oliver is looking down at her in a way she has never seen before and she doesn't understand what that look means. _

"_You think that kissed was completely faked?" he asks in what sounds like disbelief and Felicity nods confused. _

"_Of course it was, I mean why else would you kiss me like that. I'm not gorgeous Laurel or feisty I can take care of myself Sara. I'm just me, IT girl extraordinary." Felicity says, the last bit she says as if it's nothing. _

_She can feel Oliver's breath on her face as he curses. _

"_Dam it Felicity." He mutters before his lips descend on hers. _

_This kiss is different than the one form their first it's slow and deliberate with so much passion. His lips are soft against hers and his hand cradles her cheek so gently, but it's short, sweet and over far too quickly. _

_Felicity can't help the whimper that escapes her mouth and Oliver sighs. _

"_And that's the problem." He whispers before pressing a kiss to her forehead and he is gone before she can't speak. _

_Felicity doesn't leave that night because she can't and it wasn't because of the kiss that she stayed, if anything that confused her even more. She stayed because she knew it would be harder to live without him in her life at all. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"He has always been reckless in his feelings for her and she always got hurt because of it, I just want to protect her." Katya added.

Katya stops pacing and looks at Jay.

"I want to get to know him I really do, and I will as soon as we find my mum." Katya says.

"Katya…" Jay starts but Katya hold up her hand to stop him.

"But if we can find my mum on our own I have to take it." Katya interrupts.

"And if we can't?" Jay asks.

"Then we go back to plan A, of asking him for help." Katya replies.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Oliver paced in the foundry, as he waited for Roy to come back from their latest mission. Normally he would have accompanied Roy as backup but he had been too distracted and sent Dig instead. It had been almost two days since in last heard from Katya and he was getting worried. She had promised to return but what if she didn't. He need to find her.

Since Felicity had been gone Oliver had got better at the computers but he was no Felicity. That left either asking Roy or Sara for help and since Sara had left a few years ago that left Roy. Roy was a quick learner and had always been intrigued in what Felicity did, so when he asked for some lesson Felicity had been happy to oblige. They had become friends quickly, even when Roy still fought to control himself Felicity was never afraid. He had lost count of the amount of times Felicity had argued with him when it came to Roy. Felicity had a skill for calming Roy down, it used to scare Oliver but after a while he realised Roy would fight anyone even himself when it came to protecting the people he cared about.

_Flashback_

_Oliver circle Roy. It had been overly quite today and it had put him on edge so instead of having criminals to fight Oliver was left sparring with Roy. He knew it was a bad idea from the moment Roy suggested it. Oliver had been angry all day after a run-in with his mother, and on days like this he really wasn't the best teacher, but he had gone along with it anyway. _

_Roy threw a punch but Oliver dodge before dropping to the ground and swiping his leg to take out Roy's legs bringing him to the ground. _

_Oliver stood up as Roy hit the ground with a thud. _

"_Dam it." Roy grunts. _

_Oliver can tell Roy is mad and he knows he should stop pushing so hard but he doesn't, part of him likes sparring with Roy because he doesn't have to hold back so much as he does with Sara or Diggle._

"_Try again." Oliver says helping Roy to his feet. _

"_Oliver." Diggle voice calls over as a warning but Oliver ignores his friend. _

_Roy attacks him then throwing punches left, right and centre but Oliver dodges them all with ease which just makes Roy madder. Oliver can tell Roy that he is losing control. _

"_Ok that's enough." Oliver says calmly but still Roy keeps coming. _

"_Enough." Oliver shouts. _

_Roy stops but Oliver can see it took him a lot of effort. _

_Roy is breathing hard and deep, and Oliver can see Roy physically fighting to stay in control._

"_Roy fight it." Oliver ordered._

_But Oliver can tell he is only making it worse. _

"_Roy." A soft voice calls from beside him. _

_Oliver looks to his left and is surprised to find Felicity standing there, he hadn't even heard her approach. _

"_It's ok." She says her voice still soft and calm. _

_Felicity takes a step towards Roy but Oliver grabs her arm and stops her. _

"_Felicity." Oliver warns but she glares at him. _

"_You shouldn't have pushed him." Felicity said before moving out you're his reach and stepping towards Roy. _

"_Please….don't." Roy says through gritted teeth, his breathing still hard and ragged. _

_Felicity shakes her head. _

"_Take a deep breath." Felicity orders softly. _

_Her voice is completely calm._

_To his surprise Roy does exactly as she asks. _

"_Good now let it out slowly." She says. _

_Roy does as she asks, it's almost like they've done it before. _

"_That's it Roy keep going." Felicity orders. _

_Oliver has never seen Felicity as calm and despite the situation as she continues moves towards Roy. _

"_I don't want to hurt you." Roy says as he lets go of a deep breath. _

_Oliver can tell he is calmer but he is still not happy that Felicity is that close to Roy when he is still so angry. _

"_You're not going to hurt me." Felicity replies, without looking at her Oliver can tell she is smiling softly at Roy. _

"_You can't know that." Roy argues._

"_Yes I can." Felicity points out. _

"_You are strong Roy I don't just mean burley muscles strong I mean you do have big arms, I mean big big arms, I am not saying your arms are fat. Oh god 3….2…1," Felicity spoke quickly. _

_Oliver can't help smile and he can see that Dig is too. _

_Felicity sighs. _

"_What I mean is you are strong Roy and I know that you don't want to hurt me so you won't." She says. _

_Felicity is now standing in front of Roy, Oliver hadn't even seen her move. She must have done it while she was babbling. _

"_I am going to hug you now ok." Felicity said. _

_Oliver watched intently waiting to take action at any sign that Roy might hurt her but he didn't. Roy was stiff at first then after breathing deeply for a few more minutes Roy hugged Felicity back. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Hey, you ok?" Roy said, his voice bringing Oliver out of his memories.

Oliver looked over at Roy as he put down his bow. Oliver couldn't help but smile at the familiarity of it.

"I need your help." Oliver stated.

Roy looked over at him a confused frown on his face as he waited for Oliver to continue.

"I need you to help me find someone." Oliver added.

Roy nodded and made his way over to the computers.

"Who?" Roy asked over his shoulder.

Oliver took a breath.

"Her name is Katya Livy Queen, she's my daughter." Oliver replied.

* * *

Katya slammed down her hand in frustration. There was nothing, not one single thing.

She and Jay had spent the last half an hour looking through all the files belonging Thomas Hector her mother's attorney but there was nothing on her mother.

"How is that even possible?" She mumbles allowed.

Jay was looking at all of Mr Hector's paper files while Katya was working her way through all his online files.

"How is what possible?" Jay asked coming up beside her.

Katya whipped a hand over her face.

"There is nothing, on my mother in these files." Katya explained.

Jay frowned at her.

"Nothing?" he asked and Katya shook her head.

"If I didn't know any better I would say that my mum either wasn't a client here or she whipped everything." Katya added.

Jay sighed.

"What do you think?" he asked.

Katya shook her head, she had no idea anymore.

"I don't know." She said softly.

The reality of this situation finally getting to her. Her mother was gone and she had no idea whether that was by force or whether she left on her own free will. The longer her mother was gone the more it felt like she didn't even know who her mother was and that hurt more than she cared to admit.

Tears pricked her eyes.

Katya swallowed hard, now was not the time for tears.

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

Jay frowned at her, she knew he could see through her walls better than anyone she just hoped he would let it go.

"You mother has a file but its empty." Jay said.

Katya blinked.

"Nothing at all?" Katya asked and Jay shook his head.

Katya opened her mouth to reply when her phone pinged. She had set it up so the when the security camera's saw someone enter the building she would get warned.

"Looks like it's time to get out of here." Jay said.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. They ran towards the back of the building.

"There is a fire escape at the back of the building." Jay informed her in a hush whisper.

They ran towards the back of the window.

Jay let go of her arm to open the window that led to the fire escape. As soon as Jay pulled the window up the fire alarm began going off.

"Shit." Jay muttered.

"Whose there?" someone shouted from the hallway.

Katya looked back.

"Move." Jay shouted moving her out of the window.

Katya climb out Jay following closely behind.

"I thought you hacked the security feeds." Jay asked.

"I did." Katya argued.

"But that doesn't included the fire alarm." She added.

Jay sighed before taking hold of her hand again and running down the stairs.

They pounded down the steps quickly.

"Hey stop." Someone shouted from above.

"This is taking too long." Jay muttered.

He pulled to a stop and look over the railing, they were two flights from the ground floor.

"Now what?" Katya asked.

Jay looked at her and smiled.

"We jump." He replied.

Katya glared at him before shaking her head, he couldn't be serious.

"Hell no." she muttered.

"Don't worry I'll catch you." He added before Jay jumped over the railing with ease and fell to the floor almost gracefully.

Jay landed with is knees bent and looked up at her.

"Come on." He called.

Jay stood up and looked around.

"The answer still no." Katya yelled back.

Jay shook his head, before looking up at her again.

"We don't have time for this, just jump." Jay ordered.

Katya shook her head.

"When have I not caught you?" he asked absently.

Katya glared at him and Jay laughed, he should know better.

"I was twelve and scrawny that doesn't count." Jay reasoned.

"Just cause you 22 and hot doesn't mean you'll catch me now." Katya argued.

"Stop." Someone shouted above, their voices getting nearer.

"Dam it Katya now." Jay shouted.

The desperation in Jay voice made the decision for her. Katya took a deep breath before she took a leap over the railing and jumped, she closed her eyes and waited for the painful impact of the floor but Jay's arms came round her tightly and keeping her from falling any further.

Katya slowly opened her eyes.

"I knew you thought I was hot." Jay said smugly.

Katya stood up and pulled away from him.

"Really?" she replied rolling her eyes.

Jay laughed before they took off running again.

* * *

Oliver sighed as he caught sight of his sister barging her way into his office. Ever since Roy had failed to find any more information on Katya then he had, he knew it would be long before Thea would turn up demanding answers.

"You have a daughter." Thea screeched at the top of her lungs.

Oliver wince.

Thea strode right up to his desk.

"When were you going to tell me?" she demanded.

Oliver took a deep breath.

"When the time was right." Oliver reasoned.

He wasn't about to shove his family at Katya when he didn't even really no her yet himself.

Thea glared at him as she sat down heavily on a chair opposite his desk.

"You have a daughter Oliver how can you be this calm?" Thea asked.

Oliver was anything but calm, all he could think about was Katya and Felicity. It was killing him not knowing what was going on.

Oliver looked up at his sister, he opened his mouth to reply when his assistant knock on the door.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Mr Queen but a parcel arrived and the courier said it had to be you that signed for it." His assistant Charlotte called.

Charlotte was the assistant that Felicity had arranged before she left. She was efficient, polite and discrete. She never asked question, did everything Oliver asked. Charlotte was a few years older than he was with almost white blonde hair and warm hazel eyes.

"It's ok Charlotte." Oliver replied.

He stood up slowly and buttoned his jacket before making his way over to the courier who could be no more than 19, he hand long black hair that hide his face.

"Mr Queen?" the boy asked.

Oliver nodded, frowning.

"Can you sign here please, I'll just get your parcel." The boy replied.

Oliver took his clipboard and signed as the boy pulled out a box the size of a small shoe box out of his bag.

Oliver took the parcel.

"Thank you." The boy replied and before Oliver could reply the boy was already moving.

Oliver looked down at the parcel as he made his way back towards his office. He froze at the familiar handwriting.

"Felicity," he breathed.

He looked for an opening on the box but couldn't see any, realising he needed something sharp he hurried to his desk.

"Oliver don't you think this is something we should talk about?" Thea asked annoyance in her voice.

Oliver ignored her as he sat down hard on his chair he found his letter opener and slowly opened the box.

He took a deep breath as he popped the lid, he saw an envelope with his name on it. He picked it up and underneath he sure a pile of pictures. He took out the first picture it was of Felicity looking tired and warn out but she had a beautiful smile on her pale face as she looked down at the small bundle in her arms. He started at the picture, Katya was so tiny. He swallowed the lump in his throat his hands shook.

"Ollie?" Thea called her voice soft and filled with worry.

Oliver turned the picture over. In Felicity's neat writing it read.

_Welcome to the world Katya Livy Queen. _

Oliver put the picture down slowly, he knew inside the box there would be so many more like that one and he wasn't sure he could deal with the feelings that would bring just yet so he picked up the envelope and tore it open.

_Dear Oliver, _

_By now you have probably been going insane not knowing what to do with the knowledge of our daughter, you're probably searching for her. Maybe you got Roy or Sara too you were never really that good with computers. I mean I know the island didn't have Wi-Fi but really Oliver get with the times. _

Oliver couldn't help but smile at how much she knew him even after all these years, and how easily Felicity could get off tract.

_For security purpose I made it so no one who wasn't supposed to saw information about Katya. I just wanted to keep her safe. _

_I wrote a letter to you every year from the day Katya was born sometimes more than one letter a year but I could never bring myself to throw them away so I transferred them to an email account for you to read. _

_The email is __KLivy QueenConsolidated .com_

_The password is purequeen20_

_I wanted these letters to be as secure as they could be so I hacked QC mainframe and added an email account that will leave no record of ever being there to anymore but the person who had the email and the password. _

_But promise me Oliver, that you will only open this email account from the lair. _

Oliver knew that Felicity was always careful when it came to keeping the people she cared about safe but her fear was evident in her words and that worried Oliver, he didn't understand why she so afraid.

_The emails will appear to you one at a time and It will not give you access to the next email until you have read the first. _

_I hope they show you how incredible our daughter is. I know that letters and pictures can never make up for not telling you about her but I hope in some small way that they make you feel part of her life. You were always part of her life Oliver. Always. She knows everything you, even the arrow. I'm sorry for telling your secrete but I wanted her to understand how truly amazing you are Oliver and to understand the type of man you really are and not what the press makes you out to be. _

_Once you have activated the email, look in the contact details and it will give you a way to contact Katya if she hasn't found you already. She really is too smart for her own good. Take care of her for me Oliver. _

_Love Felicity. _

Oliver frowned, why did it sound like she was saying goodbye?

* * *

**Hey guys just wanted to say thank you for your reviews I love reading them and sorry that this chapter took longer than the other chapters my final project for uni is due soon and I just haven't had the time to write, I will try not to keep you waiting too long for the next chapter. Anyway thanks for reading. :) **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Thea Harper had worried about her brother from the moment he returned from the island. He was so different and no matter how much he tried to hide it behind his fake smiles and his stupid charm she could tell. It was a little sister's job to learn her older brother's mood, how else would she get him to do whatever she wanted. Sure she could still get him to help her with things but he was different and she missed him.

About six months after Ollie returned he slowly got better, but not to before island Ollie but a different person, someone better, someone she always knew him to be. It took Thea almost a year after that to work out why it was. It was after the destruction of the Glades and Ollie was still getting used to his position as CEO of QC that Thea first notice. She had gone to his office one day to meet him for lunch, when she had heard them arguing. Diggle was standing off in the back looking amused, Thea stood by him as they watched them argue. No one called Ollie on his ballshit but Felicity did and Thea could tell that her brother respected her for it. Diggle had told her that they were always the same and the more time she spent around the two of them the more she could see how right Diggle was.

But it wasn't until after their mother's death that Thea saw just how amazing Felicity Smoak really was. Even before the island Ollie never really did feelings, but after the island feelings made her brother run away. He disappeared and she was left alone and scared but Felicity never allowed that. Felicity sat with her every day and every night until Thea was strong enough to pull herself together again. When Ollie returned, Felicity still stayed by her side but things were weird between the two of them for a while.

_FLASHBACK_

_It was late and she was supposed to be asleep, but she couldn't so headed downstairs to grab some water when she heard them by the front door. Thea hurried to the banister careful not to be seen. Ollie was learning against the far wall while Felicity quietly put on her coat and bag. By the way she was acting Felicity hadn't noticed Ollie's presents yet._

"_You leaving?" He asked. _

_Felicity jumped and dropped her bag, its contents tumbling out. _

"_Dam it Oliver, wear a bell or something. You need to make yourself known unless you're trying to give me a heart attack in which case you're doing a pretty good job." Felicity said speaking quickly. _

_The tension between Felicity and Ollie had been building for days and of what little she knew about Felicity she knew it wouldn't be long till the women completely lost it. _

_Felicity bent down and slowly began picking up things from her bag. Ollie walked over to help her, once they were done they both stood up. _

"_Thank you." Felicity mumbled avoiding Ollie's eyes. _

_She turned to leave but Ollie grabbed her arm. _

"_Are you ever going to talk to me again?" He asked. _

_Thea was surprised at the sound of her brother's voice, she had never heard him so unsure before, so desperate. _

"_I am talking to you." Felicity replied but still she avoided his eyes. _

_Ever since Ollie returned Felicity had been given him one word answers and if she was honest Thea wasn't sure why. _

"_No you're not, not really." Ollie argued. _

_Felicity remained silent but Ollie waited her out. After a few minutes of silence Felicity sighed in defeat. _

"_What do you want me to say to you Oliver?" Felicity asked. _

_Ollie took a deep breath through his nose. _

"_Tell me why you're mad at me so we can fix this?" Ollie asked. _

_Felicity's eyes darted up to his. It was the first time since Ollie returned that Felicity had looked at him like that. _

"_I'm not mad at you." Felicity argued, her voice tried and wary. _

"_I'm disappointed." She added. _

_Ollie looked like someone had just sucker punched him. _

"_I'm sorry I disappointed you." Ollie said letting go of her arm. _

_Felicity shook her head, knowing Ollie had took what she said a different way than what she had intended. _

"_Not for me Oliver I am disappointed for Thea. She needed you and you left. I get why did it Oliver I really do but grieving alone may work for you but it didn't for her. Thea needed someone, she needed you. " Felicity tried to explain. _

_Ollie's eyes widened in surprise. _

"_She had you." Ollie reasoned, his tone soft and grateful. _

_Felicity gave him a small tired smile. _

"_Only because I know what it's like to grieve alone. I didn't want that for her." Felicity reasoned. _

_They were a story there, she could tell and by the look of Ollie's face so could he. _

"_Or for you." She added in a whisper. _

_Ollie looked down at Felicity as if he had never seen her before. _

"_I couldn't face the thought of losing someone else I cared about so I ran and it was the wrong thing to do and I am sorry for that." Ollie explained._

_Felicity slowly raised her hand to Ollie's cheek as if to comfort him._

"_I'm not the one you need to apologise too." She said with a sad smile on her face. _

_Ollie sighed heavily and nodded. His hand touched hers. _

"_I know." Ollie concluded. _

"_I'm working on it." He promised. _

_Thea smiled sadly at the thought. She knew her brother had been trying, but she had been so hurt by him leaving that she had shut down any attempted he made at having a conversation with her. Thea made a promise to herself that she would listen to Ollie the next time he tried to talk to her. _

"_Good." Felicity mumbled. _

_She dropped her hand and turned to walk away._

"_Stay?" Ollie asked, Thea could hear the desperation in his voice. _

_He needed Felicity and by the look on her face, Felicity new it._

_Felicity swallowed hard and nodded. _

"_Ok." She whispered. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Things changed between Ollie and Felicity over the two years before Felicity left, they became closer and if she was honest with herself Thea had waited for the day that they finally got their act together and got together. But sadly that day didn't come. Felicity had been so strange in those finally two weeks and to this very day she wished she had pushed Felicity harder in trying to find out what was wrong, but she didn't and before she knew it Felicity was gone. Thea missed her friend terribly and her worry for Ollie got worse. For the first month after Felicity was gone she barley sure Ollie he was out every night and when he came back he was battered and bruised. That was how she found out that her brother was the arrow. He had been barley sleeping and he was making sloppy mistakes, which is why Ollie didn't notice when she followed him into the storeroom that lead to his lair one day. She had been furious at first but after a couple of days of snarky remakes and yelling matches with Ollie she realised she couldn't have been prouder of her brother, for all the good he did for this city.

When Ollie married Laurel, Thea's worry eased a little. Laurel new the truth and she thought that Ollie would be able to be himself around Laurel but that sadly wasn't what she hoped and when they caught track of Felicity, Thea's fear was confirmed. Felicity had a hold over her brother's heart and she didn't even know it.

Thea looked through the pictures as Ollie read the letter. Katya was beautiful. She was delicately small much like both she and Felicity were with her brother's dirty blonde hair and Felicity's bright blue eyes. Even in the younger pictures Thea could tell she was stunning enough to be a heartbreaker. She wondered what Katya was like now.

"She's beautiful Ollie." Thea mumbled, but Ollie never even looked up from the letter.

Whatever the letter said it was taking Ollie through a whirlwind of emotions.

Thea continued looking through the pictures until she found one where Katya stood with a little boy his arms around her shoulders. He looked a couple of years older than her with a cheeky grin on his face, they both looked dirty like they had been rolling around in the dirty.

Thea turned the picture.

_Katya, 10 and Jay 12 after the catching incident. _

Ollie standing brings Thea out of her thoughts of what that could mean.

"Ollie where are you going?" She asks.

Ollie stops and looks over at Thea, he hands her the letter.

"Read the last line." He orders.

Thea frowned as she looked down at the letter.

_Take care of her for me Oliver._

Thea gasped that was a goodbye if she ever heard one.

"What are you going to do?" Thea asked.

Ollie look down at her his face serious.

"Find out everything I can about my daughter then find both her and Felicity." Ollie replies and before Thea can question him any further he is striding out of the room.

* * *

Nurse Jackie sighs tiredly as she walked into Jane's room. It's been almost three weeks and Jane still hasn't woken up. The doctor said that there is nothing physically left wrong with her and that Jane is the only one keeping herself in this state.

"I'm just going to take your picture." Jackie tells Jane.

Jackie hopes that when Jane's family find her that Jane will fight harder to wake up.

Jackie lines up the picture in the camera.

"On the count of three." Jackie says.

She knows Jane isn't going to move but she can't help it. Her colleagues tell her she has gotten herself too involved but she doesn't care. Part of her is so sure that Jane has a family, she can't bring herself to ignore the fact, so she keeps talking to Jane and not just when she's on shift anymore, she finds herself checking on Jane in her breaks and on her days off too.

"One…two… three…" Jackie says before she takes the picture.

Jackie looks at the picture. She knows it's a long shot with, especially with Jane's eyes closed but she will take what she can get.

Jackie looks at Jane one last time.

"I hope this helps." She whispers before she leaves the room.

* * *

Katya sits on her father's sofa. It's been almost three hours and there has been no sign of him.

She sighs heavily just as her phone beeps.

_Any sign yet?- J x_

Katya rolls her eyes. He said, he wanted to give her time to talk to her father on her own but he hasn't stopped texting her since he dropped her off earlier.

She dials Jay's number.

"I take it that's a no." Jay says answering on first ring.

"I have no idea where he is, I tried to tracking his phone's signal but something is scrabbling it." Katya replied.

She hates not knowing things.

"What you going to do?" he asks.

"What else can I do?" Katya returns.

Jay sighs.

"What about your aunt?" Jay offers.

Katya sighed tiredly. She really wasn't ready to be slung into the world of the 1%'s yet but she was left with little choice.

"Yeah." She says softly.

She heard stories about her aunt from her mother. Her Aunt Thea was a whirlwind, at least that what her mother said. A loveable, whirlwind and that very thought was what made her nervous.

"I can come with you if you want?" Jay asks as if he can hear weariness.

"Please." Katya whispers.

She smiles to herself, he knows her so well.

"I'm own my way." Jay replies.

"Thank you." Katya adds.

"Anytime." Jay said softly and Katya knew he meant ever word of it.

* * *

Thea glared at her son.

"Tommy I will not tell you again." She yells.

Tommy smirks and Thea tries not to groan he reminds her so much of Roy when they first met its scary.

"I'm sorry mum." He says putting his phone down.

That's her one rule no phones at the dinner table and Tommy pushed that rule every night.

Thea shakes her head and glares at her husband.

Roy smiles that smile she loves so much as he holds up his hands in mock surrender.

"His your son too." Roy points out.

Thea opens her mouth to argue when the doorbell goes.

"I'll get it." Thea says before she is heading to the door.

She opens the door.

A young women and man are standing there but Thea is stuck staring at the girl.

"Hi, my name is…" the women starts.

"Katya." Thea adds.

Her nieces name falling from her lips easily and there is no denying it. She is too much like Felicity and Ollie for that.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Katya tapped her foot impatiently as she listens to her Aunt talk. She is watching her Aunt intently but she hearing nothing, it's not that she doesn't want to listen she does but she can't let herself be part of this world, not yet, or of this family. Not until she knows her mother is safe. The guilt of being happy when she didn't know where her mother is would be too much.

Jays hand on her knee brings her out of her thoughts. She looks over at him and he gives her a reassuring smile.

"It's ok." He mouths.

Katya smiles back because no matter what is going on she can't see Jays smile and not smile back.

Katya looks back around the room. Roy had sent her cousin their son Tommy to his room and Katya couldn't be more grateful. One day she will take the opportunity to get to him. Roy and Thea haven't change much at least not from their pictures, sure their older but that's about it.

"How's your mum?" Thea asks grabbing her attention.

Katya looks over at her and Thea is looking conflicted. Katya knew they were friends but by the looking on her face she also mad at her mother probably from keeping her existence from Oliver and if she is honest she can't blame her.

"I need to find Oliver." Katya states ignoring her Aunts question.

Roy frowns.

"You found him easily the first time, why can't you find him now?" Roy asked.

Katya sighs.

"I tried to trace his phone but something is scrambling the signal." Katya confessed.

Roy smirked at her.

"You are so much like your mum." Roy comments but he doesn't elaborate.

Katya smiles because she knows it's true at least when it comes to computers.

"He is probably in the lair." Thea adds.

Katya looks over at her Aunt.

"Don't you get signal there?" Jay asked.

"We used to." Roy started.

"But about four months ago nothing, no signal and you couldn't trace anyone to the lair." Roy added.

Katya looked down. Someone had to have done that. It would be difficult to do and Katya can't help but wondered who would do that.

"Roy why don't you go get Oliver, in the meantime I can get to know my niece." Thea suggested.

Katya opened her mouth to argue when she felt Jays hand on her knee once more. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't rush this.

* * *

Oliver rubbed his head. He had been staring at a computer screen for far too long and it was starting to give him a headache, but he couldn't bring himself to look away. The emails just kept coming and according to the email timeline Katya wasn't even seven yet.

Felicity wrote in so much detail, if he closed his eyes he could almost see every moment in Katya's life that he had missed. There were pictures and videos, every one of them made his heart ache. He learnt about Felicity's fears, he wished she had given him the opportunity to be there to get rid of her fears or be right there alongside her worrying too. He deserved that right and Felicity had taken that away from him, it was so unlike her and that confused him even more. The Felicity he knew believed in telling the truth even if it wasn't what someone wanted to hear. She thought for what she thought was right regardless of the consequences. It had become one of the best and worse things he like about Felicity. She was like his moral compass, telling him what was right or what was wrong. When he was ready to give up to Slade she fought with everything she had.

_FLASHBACK _

_Slade was winning and he hated that thought. His mother was dead but that wasn't enough for Slade, he wanted Oliver to pay and that meant losing someone else he loved. _

_Oliver thought; Laurel and Sara were safe with each other and Detective Lance, Thea was safe with Roy. That left Diggle and Felicity, both who stood in front of him now both to stubborn to let him do this alone. He wish he had the strength to make them leave but he was selfish and he needed them and they knew it._

"_You should go." Oliver mumbled to Felicity as Diggle talked in the far corner over the phone. _

_Felicity looked up from her tablet. _

_It wasn't the first time he had told her this, it wasn't even the second. Ever since Slade's reappearance Oliver had been trying to get everyone he cared about to leave him so they stood a chance of being safe. _

_Felicity rolled her eyes and ignored him. _

"_Dam it Felicity please." Oliver yelled. _

_Diggle looked over at them his eyebrows raised. _

"_You guys need to get out of Starling now, why you still can." Oliver said. _

_Diggle sighed and went back to his phone call ignoring Oliver just like Felicity had. _

_Oliver slammed his fist into the table in frustration. _

_"Leave now." Oliver ordered. _

_Felicity looked at him once again her bright blue eyes never leaving his. _

_"My life, my choice." she said simply. _

_Oliver let out a frustrated sigh. _

_"Besides what would you do without us?" she asked and before he can even think of a reply she answers her own question. _

_"Hand yourself over to Slade." _

_Oliver takes a shaky breath and Felicity's eyes dart over to his. That was exactly what he was planning to do and by the look on Felicity's face she knows that. _

_"No." Felicity shouts more forceful then he has ever heard her. _

_She puts her tablet down and walks so she is standing just in front of him. She has to look up to him to see his face but she doesn't seem to care. _

_"You don't get to do that." she adds just as forceful. _

_Her eyes fill with tears and there is part of Oliver that wished he never said anything. He hates seeing she cry, but the other part of him knows that this is the only way that she could stand a chance of surviving and every part of him would do anything to make sure that she survives this. _

"_I don't have a choice." Oliver states. _

_She slaps him then. Her palm coming into contact with his face, faster than he ever imagined it possible. Its stings but the way that she is looking at him now hurts more than the slap did. She looks lost and distort. _

"_Felicity." He breaths her name. _

"_You don't get to give up, do you hear me?" she yells. _

_Oliver is completely focused on Felicity but he can tell Diggle is no standing right beside him. _

"_She's right man." Diggle says. _

_Oliver tares his eyes away from Felicity to look over at Diggle. _

"_Were in this together till the bitter end." Diggle added. _

_Oliver sighed in defeat. _

"_Till the bitter end." He repeats. _

_Diggle smiles at him before squeezing Felicity's shoulder and wondering off. _

_Oliver looks down at Felicity her eyes still filled with tears. Oliver swallows hard before slowly raising his hand and gently placing in her cheek. He whips the tears from her face. _

"_Promise me." She starts her voice breathless and filled with tears. _

_She takes a deep breath._

"_Promise me you will fight not matter what." She begs. _

_Oliver nods. _

"_Promise me Oliver." She states again. _

"_I want to hear those words." She adds. _

_Oliver learns forward and brushes a kiss on her forward. He lingers there as he breaths the words, _

"_I Promise." _

_END OF FLASHBACK._

Oliver looked up as the lair doors opened.

"Not now." Oliver said without looking up to see who it was.

"Oh trust me you're going to want to hear this." Roy voice called from the stairs.

Oliver sighs and turned to face Roy.

"What?" Oliver demanded.

"Katya's looking for you." Roy stated a smug smile filling his face.

* * *

Katya tried to answer all of her Aunts questions as best as she could but the truth was she didn't know the answer to half of them.

"So you have any idea why Felicity left?" Thea asked again.

Katya sighed.

"I don't know why my mum did what she did." Katya replied.

She stood up.

"All I know was that she loved him." Katya replied pacing.

"Did you never want to know who you father was?" Thea questioned.

"Of course I did." Katya replied instantly.

"When I was ten my mum got into an accident, I was so scared." Katya started.

She had told this story to one person and that person was Jay and the only reason he knew was because he covered for her, even her mother didn't know.

"I was meant to be at school but instead I got on a bus and came here to Starling." Katya said.

"You came here?" Thea asked.

Katya nodded.

"Yes. But I didn't know that he was married and when I knocked on the door his wife opened it." Katya explained.

"Laurel?" Thea said and Katya nodded.

"Mum used to say she like Laurel because she was this strong and amazing women, but to me she was nothing like that." Katya added.

"What happened?" Thea asked.

_FLASHBACK_

_Nine year old Katya looked over at Jay. _

_"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. _

_Katya nodded. _

_"My mum is so sad." Katya replied. _

_"I just want to make her happy." She added. _

_"Ok." Jay replied. _

_"But if you are not back by the end of the day I'm telling my mum." Jay added. _

_Katya nodded. _

_"I promise." she said. _

_Jay held out his little finger and Katya smiled before putting her finger next to his, it was tradition._

_"Pinkie promise." Katya said. _

_Katya hugged Jay quickly before running towards the bus. _

_Her mum would not be happy if she knew what Katya was doing she would be in so much trouble right now. But mum was hurt and sad and Katya just wanted to make her feel better. _

_"Mum loves dad and if dad was here mum might be happy again." Katya whispered to herself. _

_Katya smiled to the bus driver as she got on the bus._

_It wasn't a long journey, but it still made Katya nervous in case her mum or Jays mum found out. _

_When the bus pulled up to a stop Katya walked quickly of the bus._

_"Hey kid." The bus driver called. _

_Katya turned to look at the man. _

_"Do you know where you're going?" He asked. _

_Katya smiled. _

_"I going to see my dad." she said happily. _

_Her mum always said that her dad would love her and she couldn't wait to meet him. _

_According to the instructions that she and Jay managed to find on the computer, her dad's house was just a short walk from the bus stop. Katya hurried along the path, stopping when she got to the road. She looked left and right just like her mum taught her. The road was clear so she crossed the road. It was another ten minutes before Katya came to the address Jay had written down for her and she was tired. _

_Her mum had once said that her dad had a lot of money but the house was smaller than what she had been expecting. It was still a lot bigger than what she and her mum lived in. Katya knocked on the door. _

_After a couple of minutes the door swung open and a women with long brown hair opened the door. She smiled down at her. _

_"Hi Sweetie, who are you?" The women asked. _

_Katya frowned she had seen the women's face before but she couldn't place it. _

_"I'm Katya, who are you?" Katya asked holding out her hand for the women to shake her hand. Mum always said this was how you greeted and adult._

_The women laughed as she shook Katya's hand. _

_"I'm Laurel." The women replied. _

_Katya smiled. _

_"That's a pretty name." Katya replied. _

_Mum always said it was nice to compliment someone. _

_"Thank you sweetie, but what are you doing here?" Laurel asked._

_"I'm looking for my dad." Katya replied. _

_The women looked around her as if she was looking for her._

_"And who's your dad?" She asked. _

_Katya smiled brightly and pulled out the picture of her father from her backpack. She kept the picture in her bag ever since she had to do a school project about her family when she was six. _

_Katya handed the picture to the Laurel. _

_"His name is Oliver Queen, do you know where I can find him?" Katya asked. _

_The women gasped and dropped the picture. _

_"Hey." Katya cried. _

_Katya bent down quickly and picked up the picture before hugging it close to her chest._

_Katya looked up at the women to tell her off but she stopped when she noticed the women's face. She looked sad and angry. _

_"Your daddy isn't here." Laurel said suddenly. _

_Katya smiled. _

_"You know my dad?" Katya asked. _

_Laurel scoffed. _

_"I'm his wife." she said, her tone was cold and harsh. _

_"His married?" Katya asked trying not to let herself cry. _

_Laurel nodded. _

_"Yes, and soon we will have a family of our own and there won't be any room for you." Laurel said. _

_Katya's lip trembled. She would not cry. Not here. _

_"I'm sorry sweetie but I just don't want you to get hurt." Laurel said her voice back to the kind way it was before. _

_Katya nodded. _

_"I'm sorry I bothered you." Katya said. _

_She didn't want to be somewhere she wasn't wanted._

_END OF FLASHBACK. _

Katya shook her head

Thea stopped her from pacing by grabbing her arm gently and turning her round to face her.

"Did she say something to you?" Thea asked.

Katya shook her head.

"It doesn't matter." Katya replied.

"Yes it does." A deep voice rumbled from behind.

Katya turned round to find Oliver standing there with Roy next to him. Oliver looked annoyed and angry.

"Hi." Katya said softly.

Oliver eyes softened.

"Hi." Oliver replied.

"I need your help." Katya said.

Oliver nodded.

"Of course." he replied.

"But one day you're going to tell me what Laurel said to you." he added.

Katya nodded.

Oliver sighed.

"Tell me everything," Oliver ordered lightly.

Katya blew out a breath.

"I don't know where to begin." Katya admitted.

"Start from the beginning and we will go from there." Oliver suggested.

Katya nodded.

"Ok." she replied.

* * *

**Note: Hey everyone just wanted to say thank you for reading and for your reviews. **

**Two things, first I am really sorry but no matter how much I try I can't seem to like Laurel. So to all of those who like Laurel I am really sorry about this chapter. Please don't hate me too much for it :-) **

**Secondly, I am thinking about writing a one shot serious that will go along with this called "How it should have been?" it will consist of moments in their lives if Felicity never left. What do you think would anyone be interest in this?**

**Once again thanks for reading and I will update again soon. **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Thea studied her brother who was sat on her sofa across from her waiting for Katya to talk. He was tense, his jaw set determinedly, his fists kept clenching and unclenching.

Katya smiled at him nervously. Her hand gripped the man that set next to her tightly.

"He is your father Katya, he deserves some answers." Her friend stated.

Katya nodded nervously just as someone gasped.

"No way." A familiar voice called out.

Thea groaned and turned to face her son who walked into the living room a mischievous look on his face.

"Tommy I told you to go to your room." Roy stated.

Tommy looked over at his father.

"Some chick and her friend turns up and you send me to my room and you really expect me just go to my room." Tommy exclaims.

Thea shook her head but he had a point, when she was young she would have done the same thing.

"Tommy." Roy warned.

Tommy ignored his father and walked towards Katya who looked up at Tommy from her seat with an amused expression.

"So your Uncle Ollie's kid?" Tommy asked.

Katya laughed lightly.

"I guess so." She replied.

Tommy then looked over at Katya's friend.

"What about you, are you her brother or something?" Tommy asked.

Thea had been wondering the same thing for a while now. She knew he wasn't her brother, the way that they looked at each other told her that but she had been too preoccupied with the fact she had a niece and that she was standing right in front of her to ask questions.

The man looked at Katya and they both laughed.

"No I'm not her brother." the man said rubbing his hand over the back of his head.

He stood up and held out his hand.

"Jay Baxter, this one's childhood friend." the man introduced looking over at Katya who smiled at him brightly.

The smile lit up the whole of her face in the familiar way that Ollie's always did.

"You're the boy from the catching incident picture." Thea stated remembering the picture she had seen earlier.

Jay and Katya both looked over at her, with a surprised expression on their face.

"What picture?" Katya asked.

"It was from the box of pictures, Felicity sent with the second letter." Ollie replied for her.

"Can I see the letter?" Katya asked, instantly.

Ollie shook his head.

"Tell me what's going on first." Ollie ordered lightly.

Katya stood but before she could go any further Jay stopped her.

Katya glared at him but Jay just smiled at her.

"Talk to him Katya, you know it's the right thing to do." Jay reasoned.

"Jay." Katya exclaimed, but Thea could tell by her tone that Katya knew he was right.

Jay smirked.

"Come on kitty Kat, its time." He told her calmly.

Katya sighed.

"Nobody likes a no it all." Katya said.

Jay squeezed her shoulder and learned into her.

"Yet I'm still friends with you." He added.

Katya's glare turned into a soft smile. Obviously his words meant something to her.

* * *

Oliver looked over at Katya as she smiled nervously at him. Roy had just managed to get Thea to take Tommy out so they could talk freely and for that he was grateful. Thea refused however until Roy promised he would tell her everything later. So Thea left and Roy stayed behind in case the arrow was needed.

"Mum was always paranoid about our safety, always." Katya starts. She looks over at Jay for conformation and he squeezes her hand gently.

Oliver looked away briefly. Clearly the two of them were more than friends but Oliver wasn't quite ready to face that yet.

"But something was different the last five months." she added.

"How?" Roy asked.

"She was scared." Katya told him flatly.

"My mum is the bravest person I know." she said with a proud smile on her face.

"She fights to the death for what she thinks is right and she never shows the people she cares about how scare she truly is, never." Katya added.

That thought clogged Oliver's throat and tightened the hand that held his heart.

"She believed that you needed to be strong for the people you loved and she was." Katya continued.

Jay nodded in agreement.

"Always." he added.

Katya smiled at him.

Oliver closed his eyes he knew that was true more than most. He had known that after Slade had taken her.

_FLASHBACK_

_He should have known better then to think it was over. With Slade it never seemed to be over. But he had never seen this coming. _

_They had all come together; Lance and the SCPD, Nyssa, Sara and the league of assassins, Roy, Dig, Layla and A.R.G.U.S. They fought until Slade's men were injected with the cure and were no longer a challenge. SCPD had rounded them up and taken them away leaving the rest of them to go after Slade. _

_Laurel and Felicity were meant to be safe in the clock tower but when they got their Laurel was alone. _

_"Where's Felicity?" Oliver asked cautiously. _

_Laurel's eyes widened in surprise._

_"She said you called and asked to meet her downstairs." Laurel said, fear in her eyes now eminent. _

_"I didn't call her" Oliver said uneasily. _

_"She definitely got a call." Laurel added and Oliver's heart sunk. _

_Oliver looked over at Dig. _

_"Where would she have gone?" Oliver asked. _

_Dig shook his head and looked over at Oliver worriedly. _

_He felt uneasy. He didn't understand why Felicity would have left especially since she knew more than most how dangerous the streets had been. _

_Oliver dialled Felicity's number. _

_"It took you long enough kid." Slade voice called answering on first ring. _

_Oliver breathed deeply. _

_"Where is she?" Oliver demanded. _

_Slade laughed. _

_"For a supposed genius she is rather stupid when it comes to you." Slade spat. _

_Oliver cried out in anguish _

_"I could trace her phone?" Sara offered. _

_Oliver looked over at Sara. _

_"Do it." he ordered. _

_"All I had to do was tell her she could save you all by coming with me and she did it." Slade explained a cold laugh rolling off his tongue._

_Oliver gritted his teeth and slammed his hand into the nearest wall._

_"Where is she?" Oliver growled._

_"Were at your club, Oliver." Slade states. _

_"Why don't you come and join us?" Slade offered. _

_"If you hurt her..." Oliver started but Slade's cold laugh stopped him. _

_"Come alone kid, or she will die." Slade promised, emphasising the last part and before Oliver could reply the phone went dead. _

_"She's at the club." Sara exclaimed. _

_"What's she doing there?" Roy wondered aloud._

_"Oliver?" Dig called._

_Oliver looked over at his friend. _

_"He has her." Oliver spat in disgust and instantly they all knew who he meant. _

_"Then let's go get her." Dig replied instantly. _

_"No." Oliver yelled. _

_"He will kill her if I don't go alone." Oliver added. _

_"Queen were not just going to let you walk into a trap." Lance added._

_Oliver glared at him. _

_"And I won't take any more risk with her life." Oliver stated. _

_Oliver turned to leave only to come face to face with Dig. _

_"We all care about Felicity Oliver, but going alone will get both of you killed." he reasoned. _

_Oliver knew they were right. _

_"Fine." Oliver yelled. _

_"But I don't want to know any details." Oliver replied and before anyone could reply he was out of the door. _

_Oliver made it to the club in record speed not caring that when he jumped of his bike it hit the floor with a thud. Oliver ran inside readying himself but nothing could have prepared him for the sight. _

_Slade stood in the middle of the club with Felicity trapped tightly against his chest, his sword sat against her throat. _

_"Nice of you to join us kid." Slade muttered sarcastically. _

_Oliver looked at Felicity, the gash on her forehead had re-opened and she now had a split lip and a bruise forming on her left cheek. _

_"You ok?" Oliver asked ignoring Slade. _

_Felicity meet his eyes. Her lips trembled but she gave him a small smile. Oliver could see the tears marks on her cheeks but he could see no more tears in her eyes, all he saw was so much trust and so much belief. _

_Oliver felt like his heart was breaking, he had never understood how someone could have that much faith in him. _

_"She's fine aren't you Miss Smoak." Slade said dragging her backwards. _

_Felicity let out a yelp of pain. _

_"Let her go." Oliver screamed and Slade laughed. _

_"I told you, one more person had to die." Slade reminded him. _

_"Fine but kill me not her." Oliver begged. _

_"Felicity has nothing to do with this." Oliver yelled in frustration. _

_"She has everything to do with this." Slade screamed his voice echoing throughout the club. _

_"Isabel said the same thing but she didn't see what I did." Slade went on. _

_Oliver's eyes widened. He was careful with his feeling for Felicity, it was bad enough that people used her against him now but if they knew what he really felt for her there would be no end to what they would do to her. _

_"Please Slade, she doesn't deserve this." Oliver begged. _

_"Neither did Shado but she is still dead." Slade yelled back. _

_Oliver closed his eyes. _

_"This one is just like Shado." Slade added more quietly and Oliver's eyes shoot open. _

_Slade caressed Felicity's cheek, trailing down her face towards her neck. Not stopping when she flinched. The sword moved slightly away from her throat. _

_"Always on your side no matter what." Slade added. _

_His fingers gripped at her throat and Felicty's eyes widened for a second before she closed her eyes. When she opened them Oliver was expecting to see fear but not once did she let her trust and faith in him fall. _

_"So willing to die for you." Slade said his eyes never leaving Felicity's face as he spoke. _

_Oliver took a step towards them._

_Slade looked over at him and Oliver froze. Slade's fingers where still on Felicity's throat and his sword wasn't fair way either. _

_"What is it about you that brings out so much faith in these women?" Slade asked. _

_Oliver met his eyes. _

_"He is a hero." Felicity said. Her voice calm and determined and filled with so much warmth. _

_Slade's grip on Felicity throat tightened and she gasped for breath. Oliver resisted the urge to look down at her knowing the moment he did he wouldn't be able to hold himself back, which could led to both their deaths. _

_"He is a murder." Slade argued his eyes back to glaring at Felicity. _

_Oliver moved forward again. He heard the faint sounds of footsteps moving around and thankfully Slade was too distracted to notice, he hoped that whatever their plan was they could all somehow get out of this alive._

_"No." Felicity gasped shaking her head. _

_She looked over at Oliver and smiled. Oliver froze. Her eyes filled up with tears but it wasn't of fear. _

_"He is a survivor and I will always be grateful for that." She added. _

_The tears that travel down her cheeks were for the sorrows he faced. _

_"Whatever happens remember that this is my life and this is my choice." she started. _

_Oliver frowned, it felt like she was saying goodbye. _

_"Felicity." he whispered._

_She smiled. _

_"And I wouldn't change a thing." she added. _

_Oliver opened his mouth to argue when he notice her hand move to her coat pocket. _

_"Slade, you want revenge for Shado fine take me but please let her go." Oliver reasoned. _

_"You still don't get it do you kid?" Slade questioned. _

_Oliver risked a glance at Felicity as she pulled something out of her pocket. _

_"I don't want you to die, I want you to know what it feels like to lose everything." Slade continued. _

_Oliver had no idea what Felicity was doing but he owed it to her to let her try. He knew somewhere his friends where working out the best way to help them. Distracting Slade was his best option. _

_Oliver looked back over at Slade. _

_"Your mother and now the women you love." Slade stated. _

_Oliver heard her breath catch. She honestly didn't know how much she meant to him. _

_"Once you watch her die, then maybe I'll go back for that pretty little sister of yours." Slade spat a cold laugh echoed. _

_"No." Oliver growled the same time Felicity screamed it._

_Felicity turned in Slade's arms the blade of his sword cutting into the flesh on her shoulder as she plunged something into Slade's neck._

_"You bitch." Slade screamed as he shoved Felicity forward. _

_Felicity hit the floor with a thud, her head smashed back against the floor as Slade rounded on her. _

_"Now." Someone screamed from above as Oliver moved towards Felicity. _

_Bullets and arrows flew into the room from all different angles and Oliver shield Felicity's body with his own as Slade took off. _

_"Oliver." the soft voice of the women underneath him called. _

_Oliver looked down at her. _

_"I gave him the cure you can stop him now once and for all." she whispered. _

_Oliver shook his head as he looked over her injuries. _

_"I'm not leaving you." Oliver stated. _

_"Please Oliver." Felicity begged. _

_Oliver heard footsteps approach and he readied himself for a fight, just as Roy and Dig came into view. _

_"Go Oliver, we've got her." Dig said. _

_Roy sat down next to Felicity gently taking her hand in his, mumbling stuff too her quietly._

_"Sara and Nyssa have gone after Slade, Lance is waiting out front for the ambulance. Go get him, will keep her safe." Dig promised. _

_Oliver looked down at Felicity once again. _

_"I'll be fine." she promised. _

_Oliver pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead before getting up and going after Slade. _

_When he returned to her side later unsuccessful in finding Slade her tired smile greeted him. _

_"What were you thinking?" He asked when everyone left leaving the two of them alone. _

_"He said that if I went to him he would leave you alone for good, I had to take that chance know matter how slim it was." Felicity reasoned. _

_Oliver sighed heavily. _

_"You shouldn't have gone." He told her. _

_Felicity shook her head. _

_"I had to do something you were all getting hurt and I didn't want you to lose someone else you cared about." Felicity argued. _

_Oliver scoffed in disbelief. _

_"Losing you would have killed me." Oliver whispered._

_He took her hand in his own and kissed it softly. _

_"Promise me you won't do something like that ever again." He ordered. _

_Felicity shook her head definitely. _

_"I can't and won't promise you that." she replied instantly._

_"Felicity." Oliver sighed frustrated. _

_"No Oliver." Felicity said and Oliver could see in her eyes whatever she was about to say was serious. _

_"What you're asking me to do would be like asking you not to save me next time I get into trouble." Felicity pointed out. _

_"It's not the same." Oliver argued but even he knew it was a lie. _

_"Yes it is." Felicity replied. _

_"Especially to me." she added._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

* * *

Katya watched her father fight with his memories.

"What was she afraid off?" He asked.

Katya shrugged her shoulders. That was the problem she didn't know. She had never known. She used to think that her mother was the only one who wouldn't lie to her but as she got older she realised that was a lie. Her mother lied and although deep down she knew it was only to protect her it still hurt.

"I don't know." Katya replied honestly.

"What about you?" Roy asked Jay.

Jay cleared his throat and looked away.

Katya looked at him, he was hiding something.

"Jay?" Katya questioned.

Jay refused to meet her eyes.

"Jay." Katya stated again.

Jay looked at her then, his face completely blank and that only confirmed her fears.

"You know something." Katya stated.

Jay stood up.

"Think about it Kitty Kat." Jay said.

Katya frowned at him.

"How do you think I'm here?" Jay added.

Katya shook her head, she stood up and approached Jay. He was on leave wasn't he?

"Please just tell me what you know." Katya begged.

Jay licked his lips, something he only did when he was conflicted.

"I promised." Jay reasoned.

Katya shook her head, as she placed her hands on his chest.

"You have never lied to me, please don't start now." Katya begged.

Jay took her hands in his own.

"Two months ago you mum got in touch with me in Afghanistan." Jay started.

Katya's eyes widened in surprise.

"I don't know how but she said that you were in danger and you needed me." Jay continued.

"Why?" Katya asked.

"And from who?" Katya added.

She had so many questions.

Jay shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know." Jay replied and by the look on his face Katya knew he was telling the truth.

"I begged her to tell me but she wouldn't." Jay added.

His face fell and Katya could see how much that thought hurt him. After his mum died, she and her mum were the closest thing to a family he had left.

"All I knew was that I would be leaving my tour early and I had to make sure that you got to your dad as soon as possible." Jay explained

"Why wouldn't you just tell me that?" Katya asked.

Jay sighed and squeezed her hands gently.

"Because I know you kitty Kat, you would try and hunt for her on your own and whatever Felicity was running from scared her. I needed you safe. You need to come to the conclusion that your dad was the only option on your own" Jay reasoned.

Katya wanted to argue but she knew she couldn't. She looked at him softly as someone cleared their throat.

Katya let go of Jay's hands as she remembered her father and Uncle, were still with them.

"So you have no idea, what Felicity was worried about?" Oliver asked Jay as if to clarify and Jay shook his head.

Oliver sighed.

"You've had known luck finding her?" Roy asked.

"No none." Katya replied.

"But I have an idea." Katya stated.

Her father and Uncle both looked over at her waiting for her to continue.

"If I could get access to your computers in the lair maybe I could track her down." Katya explained.

"Neither me ore Sara could find anything." Roy pointed out and Katya smiled.

"No offence but neither of you have her brain." Jay said pointing towards Katya and she glared at him.

"Plus she can hack almost as well as Felicity can." Jay added.

Roy smirked at them while her father just stared at her in wonder.

"It's ok with me, Oliver?" Roy asked.

"Fine." Oliver replied and Katya smiled at him.

"But from now on you two don't get to hide stuff from us." he added.

"Agreed." Jay and Katya said answered at the same time.

Katya suddenly felt lighter, as if somehow a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It wasn't much but somehow since the disappearance of her mother this felt like real progress.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Katya was the in the zone, she had multiple programmes searching for her mum at the same time. She was faintly aware of people around her but she paid no attention to it. All that mattered was finding her mother. She typed in the code for her last programme, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Katya jumped and looked over her shoulder to find Jay looking down at her.

"I'm going with Roy to grab some food." Jay told her.

Katya nodded, then it hit her she would be alone with her father and when she was done typing in the last of the code there would be nothing to do but wait.

"Jay..." Katya started.

Jay looked down at her a knowing smirk plastered on his face.

"We will find your mum I promise you." Jay said softly.

Katya looked at him doubtful.

"But in the meantime give him a chance." Jay ordered gently turning her chair round to face her father who was working on some arrows.

Katya sighed heavily, he was right. For years all she had waited for was this very moment. The moment she got to know her father but now it was really here that very thought scared the crap out of her.

"Ok." Katya whispered.

Jay smiled at her before gently squeezing her shoulder.

"Be back soon." he told her before taking off.

Katya looked back towards her screen, she could feel her father looking at her, her mother always said he had never been one with words and she smiled at how in the short amount of time she had known him, she knew those words to be true.

She was seven the first time she ever asked about her father. Her mother had sat her down and told her all about his life; his family, his jobs both night and day, his friends. She cherished the stories of her father the superhero who was too important to leave his city to be with them, when she was younger but as she got older she believed them less and less. It wasn't until she did her own investigation into Oliver Queen that she finally believed her mother's words.

"She always said you weren't very good with words." Katya said looking over at her father and smiling softly.

He smiled back at her.

"I'm not but Felicity always made up enough for the both of us." he pointed out.

Katya laughed lightly, she remembered her mum's babbling.

After she finished laughing she looked over at her father as she watched her closely in silence.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

Katya frowned, unsure on what he was sorry for.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Katya assured him.

He got up from his seat and walked closer to her, he stopped just a few feet in front on her.

"I don't know how to do this." he told her pointing between the two of them but Katya looked at his face still confused.

"I don't know how to be a father to you." He told her honestly.

Katya nodded, she couldn't blame up until recently he hadn't even known about her existence and now here she was.

"If it makes you feel any better neither do I." she added with a smile.

Oliver smiled back at her.

"I really want to get you know you Katya." Oliver said and Katya nodded.

"I would like that too." she replied.

They stared at each other in silence.

"What do we do now?" Katya asked generally unsure.

"We take this day by day." He told her instantly.

Katya nodded she liked that idea.

* * *

_Felicity closed her eyes tight, as if by closing her eyes she could somehow get herself out of this situation. She had been so careful. She kept their lives private to the point of being paranoid, but still he found them and no she was stuck in a dingy cell that smelt of wee and sick. If she had known all those years ago this would have happened things would be so different. She would have gone to Oliver that day instead of leaving. If she could go back she would. But you can never go back and she knew that more than most. _

_She prayed that Katya was safe. She knew by now Jay had to be back and that gave her some comfort at least. And sooner or later Jay would get her to Oliver and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that Oliver would keep Katya safe. When she came up with this plan she needed to keep them delayed she needed a chance to fix this mess herself so she changed the contingency letter. That letter was a lie, she knew that eventually he would receive the other letters and eventually he would found out the truth, they all would but she hated lying to him. Enough people in his life lied to him and up until the day that everything change she kept that promise. Lying to him was hard for her and lying to Katya was somehow worse. At least they would find out the truth together she was sure of it, she hoped they didn't hate her too much. _

_She braced herself as she heard the lock to her cell door open. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as his footsteps got nearer and nearer. _

_"When you open your eyes the situation will still be the same." He promised, sick amusement filled his voice._

_Felicity gritted her teeth but made no moved to look at him let alone answer him. _

_"This could all go away if you tell me where she is?" he spat. _

_Felicity laughed without humour and he grabbed her hair and dragged her back. _

_Felicity grasped against the pain as she chair she was chained to fell backwards, hitting the floor with a thud. _

_She opened her eyes to find him staring down at her. He was just like his father cold and cruel. She wondered briefly if he had always been this way. She knew that he was trying to use his build to intimidate her, but he was underestimating her ability to stand up to big men after all she had spent years around Oliver and Dig and she never back down then and she wasn't about to this time either._

_"Where is she?" He demanded. _

_Felicity remained silent. _

_He sighed heavily before pulling the chair up quickly. _

_"You honestly expect me to tell you where my daughter is?" She asked in disgust. _

_"I could make you." He spat. _

_Felicity glared at him. _

_"There is nothing in this world that will make me tell you where she is." Felicity replied. _

_He grabbed her chin with his bruising hand and Felicity tried not to wince in his touch but was without success. _

_"Then what is the use of you." he spat. _

_Felicity had been waiting for this moment, when he realised that she would move heaven and hell to keep Katya safe. _

_His fist came into contact with her face quicker than she ever imagined the force sending the chair flying, she felt his kick to her gut before her head hit the floor with a crack and everything went black._

Jackie felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked away from Jane's tensed body.

Doctor Winter looked down at her with warm eyes.

"She's dreaming." He told her softly.

For the last week or so Jane's brain activity improved, which was a good sign in the long run.

Jackie nodded but somehow could help but think that maybe Jane was having a nightmare.

* * *

"Right that's enough." Jay said suddenly pulling her chair away from the desk.

"What?" Katya spluttered looking up at him from her seat, surprised.

Jay narrowed his eyes at her, but Katya glared right back at him. Jay sighed.

"Have you or have you not entered all possible information about Felicity Smoak into this computer?" Jay asked and Katya nodded.

"Have you or have you not set up all searches to contact you phone when they find something?" He asked and instantly she knew where he was heading with this.

"Jay..." Katya started but Jay glared and she stopped speaking.

"Have you or have you not had less than six hours sleep in the last two days?" He asked.

"Jay..." Katya tried again but Jay shook his head.

"No Katya." he said firmly, he only ever called her by Katya when he was either angry with her or being completely serious.

"Were going home and you are going to sleep and we will come back tomorrow." he promised.

"Jay, I can't just leave." Katya argued.

Jay bent down so he was eye level with her.

"What else can you do?" He asked but they both knew he already knew the answer.

"Jay..." Katya open her mouth.

"I have to do a few things to do here tonight so I'll keep an eye on your searches." Her father offered.

Katya and Jay both looked over at him having forgot her father and uncle were still in the same room as them.

"But..." Katya said trying her best puppy dog look of her father, who smirked and shook his head.

"Jay is right, there is nothing you can do for now and you need sleep." Her father replied.

Katya sighed in defeat.

"Fine." she said.

Jay smiled over at Oliver.

"You sure you don't mind keep an eye on the searches?" Katya asked.

Oliver shook his head.

"It's fine." He replied.

Katya nodded and stood up.

"Ok I'll see you tomorrow?" Katya had meant to say but it ended up being a question.

Oliver smiled and nodded.

"Definitely." he promised.

After waving goodbye to her Uncle, Katya followed Jay out of the lair.

* * *

Oliver watched them leave as they bickered between themselves. He still wasn't sure about what was going on between the two of them but it was clear that Jay cared about Katya a great deal and Oliver would always be grateful for that.

"It's scary how similar she is to you and Felicity." Roy said bringing Oliver out of his thoughts.

Oliver frowned at him, sure he had seen a lot of Felicity in Katya but he couldn't see anything of himself in her.

"You think?" Oliver asked.

Roy smirked and nodded.

"Sure she's got Felicity's brain and ridiculously bright eyes but she has your intensity and your smile." Roy told him honestly.

Oliver smiled to himself.

"But she like both of you when it comes to the people she cares about." Roy added and Oliver couldn't help but nod in agreement.

Oliver and Felicity were different in many ways but when it came to the people they care about there is nothing they wouldn't do to protect them.

Roy sighed.

"Well I'm going to head home unless you want some company?" Roy offered.

Oliver shook his head.

"No, I'll be fine." Oliver told him.

Roy nodded before heading off.

Oliver walked over to the computers he checked that the searches were still running before logging back into the email account, more determined than ever to get to know all the things he had missed about his daughter and to try and understand why Felicity did what she did.

He read for hours, reading about meeting Jay and his mother. Learning about Felicity's accident and how scared she had been about the thought of leaving Katya alone. He laughed at the adventures of Katya and Jay as kids, his head going through a whirlwind of emotions. He felt proud and it was clear that Felicity felt the same as he read about Katya achievements in school and hacking. He laughed at every one of Felicity's babbles.

It still hurt that Felicity had kept his daughter from him and he still was mad and deep down Oliver knew he would be for a long time yet, but no he was furious he was he believed, no he had to believe that Felicity had done it for a reason. He closed the last email and just like Felicity had promised a new one popped up, ten things to know about Katya. He opened the email.

_Oliver, by now I am hoping that you have met Katya and have seen just how amazing our daughter really is. But I bet you also freaking out, so unsure what to say that you don't say anything at all. Eventually you will get through all of these emails and you will find the courage you need to connect with her but in the meantime here is ten things you need to know about Katya. _

_1. Just like me Katya is allergic to nuts. There isn't much I really need to add here is there. You had this one pretty much covered from the moment I told you I was allergic to nuts. You kept anyone on our floor at QC from bring nuts into the office and bound it completely from the lair. Thank you by the way. How did you do ban nuts at QC by the way? I mean it's not like you could fire them if they did. Oh my god Oliver you did, didn't you. _

Oliver smiled to himself that was exactly what he had done. He had seen what nuts could do to her on one unfortunate incident, that luckily for all of them she had survived and he would have do anything not to see that happen again.

_2. She loves the colour green. Even before I told her about you being the arrow she decided it was her favourite colour. I am starting to think that liking the colour green may be a genetic thing in your family. _

_3. She is scared of spiders, to the stage that they paralyse her fear, if she just freeze there is probably a spider around someone. Be the sweet gentleman I know you to be and get rid of it for her. _

Oliver briefly remembered that Felicity hated spiders he wonder how she managed to deal with them.

_4. When she has her headphones in, it's because she is in the zone on something to do with school work or she is hacking something. Don't judge me about teaching her to hack, she is far too smart for her own good and picked up most of it herself. Anyway when she like this, it's like what I did when I got into one of those really difficult hacks. Anyway you have to make sure she eats and drinks because often she often forgets. _

_5. She hates people seeing her cry, so if she cries in front of you and she is looking at you, hug her tightly and tell her you love her. If she is crying but she turns away from her don't touch her, sometimes you just need to wallow in self-pity give her a couple of hours and she will be fine again._

_6. Katya loves watching Disney films, especially frozen, tangled and beauty and the beast. If you ever need to cheer her up put a Disney film on they always make her happy_.

Oliver smiled; Thea, Laurel and Felicity were exactly the same in that respect, did watching Disney films cheer all women up.

_7. She wants to be a doctor, she has always had this need to take care of people and she said that becoming a doctor just seem the right choice for her. I always thought there was more to it but whatever the reason I couldn't more proud that she wants to be a doctor. _

Oliver couldn't either.

_8. You can call her Katya or Kat never kitty Kat that right is apparently reserved for Jay, it was something his mother used to call her and after she died, Katya couldn't bare anyone else calling her it but Jay. _

_9. She is more determined then both of us put together so when she gets an idea in her head then there is no hoping of changing it, unless your Jay which brings us to 10._

_10. This apart from the nut fact is the most important factor on this list. No don't get mad or over protective because Jay is an amazing man and he would do anything to keep her safe including giving over his life so keep that in mind. I really hope it never comes to that. Anyway fact number 10 Katya is undoubtedly in love with Jay Baxter and he in return is completely and utterly in love with her. I am not completely sure she knows it herself yet but it's true. Jay is aware of his feeling for her but he would never push her and I am pretty sure he would wait an eternity for her if he had too. I really hope he doesn't have to wait that long. Jay makes Katya live, he makes her enjoy life and when it comes to keeping her safe, other than me Jay will be your greatest ally. Keep that in mind. _

_Look after her Oliver. _

_Love always _

_Felicity. _


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Diggle had to admit that there was something about having Katya in the lair that made it feel more complete than it had since Felicity left. Even having her friend Jay there made the lair feel more like home than it had felt in years.

He came in today after Roy had told him how much like Felicity Katya was he had to see it for himself. Felicity was like the little sister he never had or really wanted but from the moment she was brought into their lives he couldn't, nor ever wanted to imagine his life without her. But sadly when she left that was what he had to do. He had been so hurt that she left without word, but after he found out about Oliver and Felicity sleeping together he had been furious with Oliver, he was always so careless with Felicity emotions. It had taken weeks until Diggle felt calm enough to talk to Oliver without wanting to punch him and that only happen when he realised his own guilt with Felicity leaving, he had been so caught up with his own stuff that he failed to notice her need for him. They looked for her, all of them. But they found nothing. Year by year his hope of finding Felicity died but he promised himself that one day he was going to find the women he loved like a little sister and hug her once more.

Katya looked a lot like Felicity but she had Oliver's temperament. She had Felicity bright blues eyes but Oliver's real smile. She had smiled at him brightly when they first met and he couldn't help but smile back. He had tried making conversation but her attention was elsewhere, but Diggle could understand her worry for her mother's safety so left her too her work. She worked with Felicity's skills but Oliver intensity.

Diggle and Oliver trained with Roy while Katya and Jay seemed to be bickering between themselves. Diggle smile as he watched the pair interact. They were so much like Felicity and Oliver were, and just like them it was clear the pair had feelings for each other. Diggle knew Roy hadn't picked up on it yet but he wondered if Thea had. He remember the first time Thea had brought up Oliver and Felicity's attraction for each other. It was just after Oliver came back from his disappearance from their mother's death.

_FLASHBACK_

_Diggle watched in amusement as Felicity squared up to Oliver, despite their obvious size difference Felicity never let Oliver intimidate her. _

_"What they arguing over this time?" A soft voice asked from beside him. _

_Diggle looked over and found Thea standing next to him an amused look on her own face. She hopped up on the desk Diggle was leaning against and looked back over at her brother and Felicity. _

_Felicity looked up at him her arms folded across her chest with Oliver glaring down at her. _

_"Something about letting her fight her own battles." Diggle replied. _

_Thea nodded her head. _

_"Let me guess, Ollie is just trying to protect her." Thea added doing her best impression of Oliver's voice. _

_Diggle snorted. _

_"Something like that." he replied. _

_They went back to watching. _

_"It never really matters what they argue about does it?" Thea said after a while. _

_Diggle looked over at her surprised and confusion. _

_Thea sighed. _

_"It always come down to the big pick elephant in the room." she added. _

_Diggle raised an eyebrow at her. _

_"Pink elephant?" he asked. _

_"They both like each other but for some unknown reason won't admit it." Thea replied. _

_Diggle couldn't help but nodded, he knew the reason but he still agreed with the youngest Queen. _

_When Felicity and Oliver came out they barely talked to each other, Diggle looked over at Thea. _

"_Definitely pink elephant." He told her and she burst out laughing. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Pink elephant became the code between him and Thea over the years they had known each other, every time they wanted to talk about the Oliver and Felicity situation when one of them was in the room.

Jay standing up caught Diggle's attention and brought him out of his thoughts. Diggle watched Jay hold his hand out for Katya who sighed deeply before taking it. He brought her over towards the training mats stopping just before, he gently squeezed her hand and whispered.

"Be brave kitty Kat."

She glared at him fondly before stepping closer to the training mats.

"Oliver?" she called.

Diggle turned to see Oliver stop instantly pushing Roy back and pointing towards Katya Roy nodded and stepped away.

"You ok?" Oliver asked his daughter.

Katya smiled at him nervously and nodded.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me, just the two of us?" she asked quietly.

"You don't have too if you don't want to." Katya continued after Oliver didn't reply straight away.

Oliver smiled.

"I would love that, let me just shower and change ok?" Oliver asked.

Katya who had now visibly relaxed nodded.

Oliver went to shower.

"That wasn't so hard was it?" Jay said smugly.

Katya laughed, it was a beautiful vibrant sound that reminded him so much of Felicity and by the pained look on Roy's face it reminded him too.

* * *

_Felicity winced as she heard the front door slam. _

_"Mum?" Katya voice yelled. _

_Felicity looked over at the clock and curse she missed their lunch date again. Guilt flooded her, soon it would be time to leave and she had wanted to spend as much time with Katya as she could. As clique as it sounded her past was catching up with her, fast and the less that Katya was involved the better. _

_"Mum?" Katya called this time her voice sounded unsure. _

_"In my office." Felicity replied. _

_She knew Katya was getting suspicious but luckily for her, Katya School had been keeping her pretty busy. _

_Katya walked into her office looking tired and Felicity couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. Katya looked so much like Oliver it made her heartache sometimes to be around her, but other times seeing Katya was all she need to cheer her up. _

_"You ask me to meet for lunch then you don't show up." Katya moaned. _

_Felicity sighed as she stood up. _

_"You know how busy school is at the moment." Katya added. _

_Felicity nodded and pulled Katya into a hug. Not that she would ever say it but Katya missed Jay, and whenever he was away Katya did nothing but work. Felicity was sure it as because Katya was worried about him and school work stopped her from thinking too much about him._

_"I'm sorry baby." Felicity whispered _

_Katya sighed and hugged her mum back. After a couple of minutes Katya pulled away and looked at her mother a serious look on her beautiful face. Felicity smiled at her reassuringly. _

_"You ok?" Katya asked. _

_Felicity nodded. _

_"Of course baby why wouldn't I be?" Felicity wondered aloud. _

_Katya opened her mouth to reply then closed it again, whatever she had been thinking she clearly wasn't sure about yet. _

_"You, know you can talk to me right mum," Katya told her softly. _

_Felicity had to physically fight back the tears that threaten to fall. _

_Felicity pulled Katya back into her arms. _

_"Of course I do baby." she whispered pressing a fierce kiss to her head. _

_Later that night Felicity looked into Katya room to find her fast asleep. It was now or never Felicity new that. Sooner or later Katya would figure it out and the less that Felicity was there to question her about it the better. _

_Felicity watched her daughter sleep, she wondered if she would ever get it witness it again. _

_"I love you Katya." Felicity whispered. _

_She wanted to kiss her daughter one last time but Katya was a light sleeper and Felicity didn't want to take the risk of waking up. _

_She left the apartment quickly but quietly and yelled for a cab. Two more days and Jay would be home, until then Katya would be on her own, Felicity just hoped she could keep him distracted until then. _

"Any luck with finding out who she is?" Dr Winter asked as he check Jane over.

Jackie shook her head and gave him a sad smile.

"Not yet, but I'm not giving up." Jackie replied looking down at Jane giving her a silent promise to find her family.

Dr Winter steadied her with a look.

"Be careful not to get too attached." Dr Winter warned.

Jackie nodded and smiled but they both knew it was too late for that.

* * *

Katya thanked the waiter after he took their orders.

"Thank you for coming to dinner with me." Katya said after they sat awhile in silence.

Oliver smiled at her.

"Thank you for inviting me." he replied and they slipped back into silence.

Katya looked down there was so much that she wanted to know but she wasn't sure she should ask.

"You can ask me anything." Oliver said as if reading her thoughts.

Katya looked up at him surprised.

"I know what I do about you from you mum's emails but you know nothing about me, it's only right that you get the chance to ask whatever you want." Oliver explained.

Katya nodded in understanding.

"She told me a lot about you." Katya said.

Oliver looked at her surprise filled his eyes.

Katya bit her nail nervously.

"She always told me that all it would have taken to love me was to know I existed." Katya added.

She looked down unable to meet her father's eyes. She had no idea why she brought this up now but she had said it and it was too late to take back.

"Katya?" he called.

Katya swallowed before looking up slowly.

"She isn't wrong." he told her and Katya could help but smile.

A few minutes later their waiter arrived with their meals.

They ate in slowly talking here and there, asking each other questions. When the waiter took away their mains and took down their desserts. Katya steadied her father with a look.

"Why aren't you mad at her?" She asks all of a sudden.

Oliver looks startled unsure how to answer.

"I Am." he tells her after what feels like eternity.

"But I know Felicity." he adds.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.

"Your mum, only ever lied to me when she thought she needed to protect me, that's why I have to believe that she left for a reason." He explains.

The chat aimlessly throughout the rest of dinner but Katya thoughts are still filled with his words. Deep down she knows his right but she can't help but fill angry at her mum herself.

Oliver pays for dinner, much to her protest and they head out. The walk in silence towards the car.

"I'm mad at her." Katya says suddenly and Oliver stops and turns so his facing her.

Katya looks at him.

"I am mad at her for some many dam things." Katya mutters.

"From keeping me from you, for lying, for hiding something." Katya rants and her eyes fill with angry tears.

"But most of all I am angry that I have no idea where she is and that scares the crap out of me." Katya confesses.

Oliver steps forward then, his hand touches her arm and moves gently up and down as if to comfort her.

"What if were too late?" Katya asks.

A sob escapes Katya mouth and that's all it takes for Oliver crush her too him. One arm comes round her waist and the other comes round cradles the back of her head close to his chest.

Katya sobs on her father.

"Will find her." He promises with so much truth in his words Katya can't help but believe him.

Katya pulls away and gives him a water smile.

"Thank you." she whispers.

Oliver presses a kiss to her forehead.

"Anytime." He replies and Katya knows that he means it.

* * *

Oliver followed Katya down the stairs, she had been really quite on their journey back but Oliver understood it. She was afraid.

Katya walked over to the training mats where Roy and Jay were sparring against each other while Diggle watched looking impressed. Oliver stood next to Diggle.

"Jay?" Katya called softly.

Jay swiped his leg out bringing Roy to floor before quickly pinning him to the ground.

"Dam it." Roy muttered in frustration.

"Kid's beat him three times in the last hour." Diggle told him.

Oliver eyes widened in surprise. Not that he would ever admit it to him but over the years Roy had gotten better than he was and to know that Jay had taken Roy down so easily was impressive.

"Sorry." Jay said to Roy as he helped him up.

Roy shook his head and smiled.

"No its cool nice job." Roy replied.

Jay nodded once before looking over at Katya. She looked pale, tried and very vulnerable.

"Hey," he said softly.

He approached her and Katya walked forward meeting him half way. They stopped inches away from each other and Oliver could help but the familiar memory of him and Felicity. Both wanting to touch, but both too afraid of the consequences if they did.

"You ok?" Jay asked her softly.

Katya nodded but looked down. Jays hand gently moved to her cheek and he titled her head up so she was looking at him. His thumb whipped her tear stained cheeks.

"Talk to me." he ordered lightly.

"I'm just so tired Jay." she replied and Oliver can hear how tired she is.

Jay nodded.

"Let's go home then." he suggested and Katya nodded.

Jay and Katya said goodbye to Roy and Diggle, and Jay nodded his goodbye to Oliver but Katya stopped in front of him.

"Would you have dinner again with me tomorrow please?" She asked softly.

Oliver smiled and nodded.

"I would love too." he replied instantly.

Katya swallowed before she hesitantly put her arms round his waist to hug him. Oliver hugged her back instantly and pressed a kiss into her hair.

"Get some sleep." He told her lightly and Katya smiled and nodded.

After they disappeared, Roy leaving not long after. Leaving Oliver alone with Diggle.

"So," Diggle starts.

Oliver looks over at his friend.

"Are we going to talk about the pink elephant in the room?" Diggle asks and Oliver snorts.

He found out that was what Diggle and Thea had called his and Felicity's issues.

"Pink elephant?" Oliver asks.

"Katya and Jay." Diggle replies.

Oliver shakes his head.

"Nope, nowhere near ready for that talk yet." Oliver says quickly and Diggle laughs and slaps him on back.

"Hate to brake it to you but she twenty and incredibly pretty." Diggle adds.

Oliver glares at him.

"Still not ready." Oliver adds more forcefully.

"Jay seems like a good man." Diggle comments and although Oliver hates the idea of having his daughter dating anyone he knows that Diggles right.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

The buzzing of her phone woke Katya.

She sat up instantly and dived for her phone knocking off the contents of her bedside table in the processes.

"Dam it." she mumbles as the unknown objects hit the floor with a thud.

Praying she hasn't woke Jay, she fiddles around with her phone until the screen lights up and winces as her eyes struggle to adjust to the light.

"Katya?" Jay's voice calls out and she knows the noise woke him.

Katya curse to herself.

"Sorry." she shouts back.

She hears him groan before she looks back to the screen.

Her eyes widen, as Katya sees the note flashing on her screen.

_Results found_, the screen reads.

Katya jumps up out of bed, she fumbles in the dark looking for her jeans.

"Dam it Katya what's with all the noise?" Jay asks from the hallway.

She can hear him approaching and she shoves the first pair of jeans on just as he pushes open her bedroom door.

He looks surprised to see her half-dressed.

"What's going on?" he asks suddenly awake and alert.

Katya chucks him her phone and looks for a t-shirt that isn't one of Jays that she wears to bed.

"I'll get dressed." he mumbled.

Katya looks over at him to argue that he doesn't have to but he is already gone.

Katya sighs before quickly changing her shirt.

Ten minutes and they were on their way to the lair.

"This might be nothing." Jay warns.

Katya nods and swallows hard. She not stupid she knows that this could be nothing but she can't help the well of hope that rises within her.

"I know." Katya replied.

She looks out the car window trying to keep the tears that roll down her cheeks hidden.

Jay's hand find her hand and Katya looks over at him, his eyes on are on the road but as his thumb rubs comforting circles into her pulse, and she knows that he knows she needs him. They drive the rest of the way in silence. The roads are quite as they pull up.

Katya opens the door and moves to get out but Jay tightens his grip on her hand.

Katya looks over at him confused.

"Whatever happens Katya, you are not alone." He promises.

Kayta smiles and fights back her tears.

She brings their still joined hands on her lips and gently kisses his hand. A single tear escapes her eyes. Sometimes she wishes she could put into words how much he means to her.

"Thank you." she whispers.

* * *

Roy groaned the same time Thea threw his phone at him.

"Shut that thing off." she ordered, grumpy from lack of sleep.

Roy caught his phone easily and lazily looked to see what was distributing his precious sleep. That was one of the downsides of being the arrow, sleep was extremely hard to come by.

_Results found_, his screen read.

Roy frowned as far as he was aware no one had sent up any searches. Then he remembered Katya and Felicity. The searches were about Felicity.

Roy jumped up from bed now wide awake.

"What is it?" Thea asked from bed.

Roy froze, and looked over at his wife.

"I think Katya may have found Felicity." Roy told her honestly.

Thea sat up instantly.

"What?" She asked.

Roy shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know you yet but I promise I will let you know as soon as I do." Roy promised.

Thea nodded in agreement.

"You better." she warns.

Roy smiles before kissing her fondly on the cheek and heading out.

Felicity was like the older sister that he had never had and in the short time he had known her, she had become one of the most important people in his life. When Roy first joined Team Arrow he felt out of place and alone, but it wasn't for long. Felicity listened to him, gave him advice about dealing with the team and helping him deal with his anger. She became his first friend in Team Arrow and if he was honest the one he cherished the most. Felicity was the light in the never ending darkness that Team Arrow dealt with on a day to day basis, with her unintentional sexual innuendoes and bright colourful laughter.

Roy sighed deeply, he missed her laughter.

The first thing Roy truly learnt about Team Arrow was how irreplaceable Felicity was to every single person in Team Arrow. She was his older sister, Diggle's baby sister, Sara's best friend but more than anything she was Oliver's everything and somehow their enemies knew that. When someone wanted to hurt anyone of them she would be their number one target but still she never gave up. She had been hurt so many times because of what they did and there had only been one time that Roy had ever really seen it get to her.

It wasn't long after Slade had escaped, they were dealing with a human trafficker who had been taking young women from the glades and selling them around the world in to prostitution. They had taken out one of his lieutenants in an unforgettable show down and they had taken Felicity as revenge. It took them two very long days to find Felicity and everyone was a mess, Sara worked without eating or sleeping, Roy paced and Diggle tried to father them but Oliver was angry and he we worked tirelessly to find her, taking out anyone who dared to get in his way. He was like a bomb waiting to explode. Roy's heart broke when they finally found her, tied to a chair battered and blue, her cloths tattered and torn. To this day Roy never really knew what they did to her but he remembered how different she had been afterwards.

_FLASHBACK_

_Roy wasn't used to silence, well not since he had joined team arrow and meet Felicity. But even though everyone was here the lair was silent. It had been this way even since they had got Felicity back from the human traffickers. Oliver had untied her from the chair but unlike normal she had frozen at his touch, it had been Sara that patched Felicity up, Oliver was still hovering nearby but normally it was just Oliver and Felicity in their own little world. _

_"Hey." Roy said as he approached Felicity's desk her normal coffee in his hand. _

_Felicity looked startled up at him and Roy could see the tears in her eyes. _

_As far as he was aware Felicity hadn't cried since they got her back and if he was honest he was waiting for his blonde friend to breakdown. _

_"Thank you." she whispered before turning back to her screens. _

_She was quite as they all worked on their own things, she never watched Oliver as he worked out or made any unintentional sexual remarks, and she just remained silently. No typing, no speaking. Nothing. _

_After Sara took over sparring with Dig, Oliver slowly approached Felicity. Roy new he should be paying attention to Sara and Dig's teaching but he was rather concerned about his friend. _

_"Felicity?" Oliver said as he approached her. _

_Felicity didn't seem to hear him._

_"Felicity." he called again this time a little louder. _

_Still Felicity seemed frozen staring off into space. _

_Oliver was now standing just to the left of her, he gently put his hand on her shoulder and she flinched. _

_"Hey, it's just me." Oliver told her softly. _

_Felicity eyes meet Oliver's and from Roy was standing her could see her hands shaking. _

_Oliver slowly turned Felicity's chair round and knelt down so he was no longer standing over her. _

_"Talk to me." he ordered softly. _

_They all could tell she wasn't dealing with what happened very well and it surprised them. Felicity was strong, there was nothing she couldn't deal with. _

_"I'm fine." Felicity said. _

_She smiled at Oliver and tried to turn her chair away but Oliver's hands move quickly and pulled the chair back round. _

_"Felicity." Oliver begged in the voice that he reserved for only her and Thea. _

_Roy watched as Felicity squirmed under Oliver's gaze looking anywhere but at him. Oliver lent up and gently put his hand on the side of her face forcing her to looking at him. _

_"Don't you get sick of it?" She asked suddenly. _

_Oliver frowned at her in confusion. _

_"Sick of what?" he questioned. _

_Felicity shook her head. _

_"Saving me all the time." she said as if it was the most disgusting thought she ever had. _

_Roy noticed that Sara and Diggle had stopped training and were looking over at their blonde friend with a surprised expression. They all loved her, didn't she know they would do anything to save her._

_Felicity standing up caught Roy's attention. _

_"I mean all you seem to do lately is save me." Felicity pointed out. _

_Oliver stood up. _

_"I can't even go from the office to my car without getting myself in to trouble." Felicity went on. _

_"I am a liability." she spat. _

_"I am useless, I don't even understand why you keep me around. Next time just let them kill me, it will be less trouble for you." Felicity ranted. _

_Oliver moved then grabbing her arm and pulling her forward until she was standing just in front of him._

_"Never say that again." Oliver ordered his voice could and serious with no room for argument. _

_Felicity shook her head. Tears filling her pretty blue eyes. _

_"Why not? it's true." she replied. _

_Tears slid from her eyes. _

_"You are the best of us." Oliver tells her honestly and Roy can't help but agree with him. _

_"You are smart and incredible and if it wasn't for you, I am pretty sure we would all be dead by now." Oliver pointed out and he isn't wrong. _

_The tears on Felicity's cheeks fell faster. _

_"You wouldn't even be in this much danger if it wasn't for us." Oliver adds his words filled with guilt and regret. _

_Felicity steps closer to Oliver, now standing inches apart. _

_"I was so scared." She admits just as a sob escapes her throat and Oliver moves then crushing her to him. _

_Big loud sobs escape Felicity and tears fill Roy's own eyes risking a quick look over at Diggle and Sara, Roy can see tears flowing from Sara and Diggle is looking rather glassy eyed. After her sobs ease she pulls away. _

_"I'm sorry." she says looking at each of them individually. _

_When she gets to Roy, he shakes his head. _

_"You have nothing to be sorry for." Roy reassures her. _

_Felicity smiles sadly then looks back to Oliver. _

_"I am tired of being afraid." she confesses. _

_Oliver swallows then nods. _

_"What do you want me to do?" He asks his voice showing his desperation to help her._

_Felicity smiles at him gratefully. _

_"Teach me to defend myself." Felicity begs and Oliver nodded in agreement. _

_He could never really deny Felicity anything. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

By the time Roy gets to the lair everyone else is already there standing behind Katya as she deciphers the results.

"What's going on?" Roy asks as he approaches them.

Diggle turns to him.

"Felicity went from her house to the train station and boarded a train here to Starling." Diggle informed him.

Roy nodded for Diggle to continue you.

"But no camera picks up Felicity getting off the train." Diggle added.

Roy frowned not understanding what that meant now.

"What does this mean?" Roy questioned.

Katya turned in the chair.

"It would have been a direct train, which means she should have got off the train here in Starling but she didn't. Which means either the footage has been tampered with out there was an unscheduled stop." Katya explained.

"So what do you need us to do?" Oliver asked.

Katya smiled at her father.

"I need to get access to the actual footage, which should be kept in the security offices at the station." Katya replied.

"So I'll break into the security office and get you the footage." Jay summarised.

"Basically." Katya replied as if it was something they did every day.

Jay nodded.

"I'll come with you," Roy suggested.

Jay nodded.

* * *

Oliver was surprise how much it hurt to watching Katya doing a job that had always be her mothers. When Felicity had first left it became apparent how much Felicity really did for them. He knew that they need someone to take Felicity's place but it had never happened because even having Sara or Roy in her chair bothered him, the thought of replacing her altogether was unthinkable. Katya was different than Felicity though and Oliver couldn't help but be grateful for the small differences. Katya worked with the same stern determination but she gave orders quickly and quietly with no room for argument.

"Have you thought about what you are going to say to her?" Diggle asks from beside him.

Oliver looks over at his friend.

"Felicity, I mean." Diggle adds.

Oliver shakes his head. There was so much he wanted to say but if he was honest he wasn't even sure where to begin. If he just knew why she left then maybe he would know what to say when he saw her.

"Once you get pass this door you're on your own." Katya said, her voice filled with worry bringing him out of his thoughts.

Oliver walks slowly over to her.

"We got this." Jay voice calls out through the comms.

Katya takes a deep breath and Oliver puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Just be careful." she orders.

Katya turns in her chair and looks from Diggle to Oliver.

"Distract me." she begs.

Oliver frowns.

"Please." she adds.

Oliver nods and looks over at Diggle for help, not completely sure what to suggest.

"What do you want to know?" Diggle asks.

Katya sighs deeply.

"Sara." she states.

"What happened to Sara?" she asks.

Oliver blew out a breath Sara was a touchy subject for the team as they all had dividing opinions.

"It's a long story." Oliver replied.

Katya levelled him with a look that told him she didn't care and Oliver sighed, where did he begin.

"Sara left before I married Laurel." Oliver confessed.

Katya looked at him surprised.

"Why?" she questioned.

Oliver looked away from his daughter. Caught up in his memories.

_FLASHBACK_

_Oliver followed Sara into the club determined for answers. Laurel had been heartbroken when Sara had told her she wouldn't be coming to the wedding and couldn't understand why. _

_When he got to the bottom of the stairs, Sara stood in the middle of the training mats her arms crossed, her foot tapping ready for a fight. _

_"Why?" was all he asked._

_Sara sighed deeply. _

_"You know why." she replied. _

_Oliver shook his head, he really didn't know. _

_Sara glared at him. _

_"Sooner or later you are going to figure out you are still in love with Felicity and Laurel is going to get hurt because of it." Sara explained and Oliver's mouth fell open in surprise. _

_"I don't know what you're talking about." Oliver replied. _

_Sara shook her head violently. _

_"You love Felicity." Sara pointed out. _

_Oliver saw red. _

_"It doesn't matter what I feel for Felicity, she's gone." Oliver argued._

_"So Laurel is second choice?" Sara questioned sarcasm filling her words. _

_"I love Laurel." Oliver roared. _

_Sara scoffed. _

_"Not like you love Felicity." Sara argued. _

_"I love Laurel." he repeats. _

_Sara scoffs. _

_"No one is allowed to sit in her chair." Sara states. _

_"No one is allowed to change anything to do with Felicity work station." Sara points out. _

_She is stepping closer and closer to Oliver as she yells. _

_"You keep saying you love Laurel and that Felicity is gone, but why do you keep this place a shrine to her?" Sara demanded. _

_Oliver wanted to deny it he really did but somewhere within him he knew she was right. _

_"Sara?" Oliver called softly all his fight leaving him. _

_Sara sighed. _

_"I know you love Laurel, truly I do but you will never love her as much as you love Felicity and I will not wait around for you all to realise that." Sara summarised. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Sara was gone three days later. Diggle had understood her reasoning, he was sad to see her go but her understood. Roy had been mad.

"She believed I wasn't over you mum." Oliver replied.

They were all silent for a moment.

"I don't understand." Katya stated.

"Laurel is the love of your life right?" Katya asked.

Oliver looks at his daughter startled, as to why she would think that.

"Why do you say that?" Diggle asks.

Katya shrugged her shoulders.

"That's what mum thought, that you loved no one like you loved Laurel." she adds.

Oliver turns her chair so she is facing him.

"What?" he demands.

How could Felicity think that?

"I don't think she every really believed you loved her." Katay replied.

How could she have never known how he felt about her? Oliver's face turns serious.

"She said I never loved her?" Oliver asked.

Katya shook her head not really understanding why this was so important to him.

"No she never said it." Katya replied.

Oliver frowned.

"Then why would you think that?" he questions.

Katya shrugged again.

"Mum always talk about you and Laurel as if that was it, that there was nothing better." Katya replied.

Oliver shook his head he didn't understand and Katya sighed, she stood up and Oliver followed.

"From her stories about you guys I knew you cared about her, but I was never sure if you loved her and I don't think mum was either." Katya confessed and that broke his heart.

Did Felicity really believe he never loved her?

"You can ask you know?" Oliver said after Katya fell silent.

Katya turned to face him.

"Ask what?" she questioned.

Oliver sighed.

"You can ask me if I love her." he told her.

He needed her to ask him, as if by her knowing someone Felicity would know how much she had meant to him.

Katya looked confused.

"Did you love her?" she asked anyway.

"Yes." Oliver replied.

"I have and I will never love another women the way I love your mother." Oliver admitted.

It felt weird to say but it finally felt like a weight had been lifted.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

Katya had never meant to make her father mad but clearly her words had.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

Oliver looked down at her startled.

"I never meant to make you mad." Katya added.

Oliver smiled at her sadly before gently placing his hand on shoulder.

"I'm not mad at you." he told her honestly.

"I'm mad at myself." He added.

He looked over her shoulder.

"I honestly believed that your mum knew how I felt about her and to find out she didn't." Oliver stated trailing off at the end shaking his head in disappointment.

Oliver looks back at her but there was a distant look on his face.

"Things may have been different." he added.

Katya opens her mouth to argue when the comms click back on. Katya turns in her chair.

"Jay?" She whispers praying that everything went fine.

"We got it Kitty Kat." Jay's cocky voice calls through the comms.

"Are you hurt?" She asks desperately.

Jay laughs.

"I'm fine Kitty Kat." Jay replies instantly.

A sigh escapes her body.

"And Uncle Roy?" she adds.

"I'm good to Kat." Roy told her.

Katya relaxed back into the chair.

"I'll see you when you get back." She says before turning to face her father and Diggle.

"I have no idea how mum did this it would have killed me." Katya told them honestly.

Diggle smiled.

"It killed her most of the time too." Diggle told her.

"Why would she do it then?" Katya asked.

Diggle approached her and he looked over at her father who was now pounding his fist viciously into one the training dummies.

"Because she believed in him." Diggle told her.

Katya stood up. Oliver looked so disappointed, so angry in himself.

"I didn't mean to hurt him." she told Diggle sadly.

Diggle gave her a small smile, before gently taking her hand and giving her fingers a squeeze.

"I know honey." he reassured her.

"In all the years I have known your dad he has never cared for anyone the way he did Felicity." Diggle added.

Katya looked over at him.

"Then why would she wonder about his love for her?" Katya questioned.

Diggle sighed deeply.

"In this world the people we love become our biggest weaknesses, your dad believed that he had to keep away from her in order to protect her." Diggle explained.

Katya nodded, she understood her father's reasoning but she didn't like it.

"But people still found out how much she meant to him?" Katya asked and Diggle nodded.

Diggle smiled sadly.

"Because no matter how much we try we cannot hide what the heart wants." he told her.

Katya thoughts briefly flickered to Jay but she shook her head now was not the time.

The lair door opened the same time the computers bleeped.

Katya looked at the computer for a split second before deciding she needed to see Jay before she could really focus. She moved to the bottom of the stairs, Diggle following closely behind.

Roy bounded down the stairs first with Jay following closely behind.

Katya felt her body instantly relax at the sight of him, safe and sound back here with her. Tears filled her eye, Jay spent so much time in the line of danger doing his job and it almost killed her. But this time was different, because he was putting himself in danger for her and somehow that made it worse.

Jays hand on the side of her face brought her out of her thoughts.

"I'm fine." he told her seriously.

Katya looked him over. Not a hair out of place.

She nodded and he smiled.

* * *

Thea smiled to herself as she looked down at the name that lit up her screen.

_Sara._

When she was younger she had never really be close to her but after Felicity left, Sara become one of her closet friends.

"Hello," Thea answered happily.

"I heard you have been trying to get hold of me." Sara replied quickly and tiredly.

After Sara refused to go to Oliver and Laurels wedding she had gone back to the league of assassins and getting hold of Sara was difficult.

"Yes, I have some news." Thea told her.

Sara sighed.

Every time they talked Thea filled Sara in on the gossip what was going on with everyone and even though it was never really her thing Sara listened.

"Felicity was pregnant when she left." Thea said dropping the bombshell.

"What?" Sara gasped.

Thea smiled knowing she had now got Sara's attention fully and completely.

"When Felicity left she was pregnant, with Oliver daughter." Thea said.

"Felicity would never have left without telling Oliver unless..." Sara started but stopped when Thea interrupted her.

"Everyone keeps saying that, but they still haven't found that reason yet." Thea argued annoyed.

Thea hated that she had lost twenty years of her niece life and she couldn't bear to think what Oliver was going through. Deep down she knew they were right. Felicity was and always had been a good person, especially when it came to Oliver, often too good. But right now things looked bad and yet no one was looking at it like that but her.

"Well what's Felicity saying?" Sara asked bringing Thea out of her thoughts.

Thea sighed sadly.

"That's the problem, she's missing." Thea replied.

"What?" Sara yelled.

"Tell me everything." Sara ordered, so she did.

"I'm coming home." Sara told her after she was done.

"Are you sure?" Thea questioned worrying about the repercussion of Sara leaving the league again.

"I sure." Sara replied adamantly just as the front door opened and Thea heard voices.

"Look I have to go but I'll keep you informed." Thea promised.

"Good I'll see you soon." Sara replied before putting the phone down.

Thea looked round just in time to see Roy enter the kitchen closely followed by Katya, Diggle and Jay.

Thea frowned.

"Where's Ollie?" she questioned.

Katya looked down ashamed.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

Diggle sighed.

"Katya may have told him that Felicity didn't know he loved her." Diggle replied.

"Dam it." Thea muttered.

She always wondered if Felicity knew how Oliver felt about her.

"Sorry." Katya muttered.

Thea smiled at her.

"Not your fault." Thea told her honestly.

She had always said that Oliver needed to tell Felicity how he felt, but obviously he never had.

"So let me guess, he is taking all his anger out on some poor training dummy?" Thea questioned.

Diggle laughed.

"Got it in one." He told her.

Thea rolled her eyes.

"Well how about some breakfast?" she offered and she saw nods of agreement.

Thea turned towards the kitchen.

"Would you like some help?" Katya called from behind her.

Thea smiled, this was the moment she had been waiting for the chance to get to know her niece. Thea turned to face Katya.

"That would be lovely thank you." She replied.

Katya smiled and nodded before following her into the kitchen.

* * *

Oliver whipped his face with a towel. He really should have known better, Felicity had always been insecure when it came to his feeling towards her but to think she questioned his love for her even after everything they went through before she left.

The second time Oliver kissed her was after she had almost been killed pushing him out of the way of a bullet. The bullet grazed her arm but he had been so worried and the only thing that seemed to calm him was the feeling of her in his arms but this time it wasn't enough and she kept rambling about how she would do it again if it meant he was safe. So he kissed her, it was rushed and forceful but he didn't care he just needed to feel her and by the way she kissed him back she didn't care either. Kissing each other after a dangerous events became a common thing after that and not just for him but for her too.

He remembered the day she told him he couldn't kiss her any more, it was two days before Malcolm Merlin took her and Thea. She had been in the field to hack into one of their targets computers but had been attacked but one of his guards.

_FLASHBACK_

_Oliver paced as Diggle stitched Felicity's arm. One of their targets guards had slashed her arm and it had taken her pleads for him not to kill the man that dared to hurt her. _

_"Take some tablets when you get in a rest." Diggle ordered. _

_Felicity smiled. _

_"I promise." she said. _

_Diggle nodded before waving and heading out. _

_Since Diggle had stopped offering them a ride Oliver assumed he had an idea that something was going on between them but was choosing to ignore them and Oliver couldn't be more grateful. If he was honest he had no idea what was going on with them. All he knew was that that he couldn't live without her. _

_Oliver walked over to her. _

_"You ok?" He asks her softly. _

_Felicity gives him a tried smile before nodding. _

_Oliver stands inches from her. All he wants to do is crush her to him but she been quite since they got back and he is unsure if hugging her is the right thing._

_Her head falling forward on to his chest answer his question for him. Oliver steps forward gently wrapping his arms round her just as a sob escapes her throat. Oliver tightens his hold on her as she cries. Something's different he is not sure what it is but something is definitely different. When her sobs ease Oliver pulls back and looks down at her. _

_"Talk to me." he begged softly. _

_Felicity shook her head. _

_"Is this about what happened tonight?" Oliver questions because he knows for a fact that she had never gotten so upset over something like this before. She is stronger than that and regretfully she had been through much worse. _

_Felicity shakes her head and looks down. _

_Oliver sighed as he bent his head down to rest on her forehead. He can fill the tears that slip down her cheek, her uneasy breath on his face. _

_"Please talk to me." He begs. _

_His arms are still round her back and hers are still tightly holding on to his lapels. _

_Felicity shakes her head and before he can open his mouth to speak again she brings her lips to his and kisses like her life depends up it. This kiss is nothing like they have previously shared. It's slow and deliberate. Oliver moves one of his hands to her face and deepens the kiss. They kiss until they are breathless and when they pull away Felicity flings her arms round his neck and buries her face in his shoulder blade._

_"We can't keep doing this." she whispers into his shoulder. _

_A shake breath escapes her. _

_"I can't keep doing this." she corrects. _

_Oliver knows she is talking about kissing. He knows she wants him to fight her on this but she knows he won't not matter how badly he wants too. _

_Felicity presses a kiss into his neck and he briefly tightens his hold on her. Felicity pushes him away and he lets her. She walks over to her desk and picks up her bag with her uninjured arm. She walks over to the stairs. He wants to go after her but he doesn't _

_She stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks over at him._

_"You can't kiss me any more Oliver." She tells him. _

_"Not unless you're going to follow through with this." she says pointing between the two of them. _

_They look at each other for a few seconds before she sighs deeply and walks away. Oliver watches her leave and it takes everything he has not to go after. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

There have been many times in there years of friendship that he wishes he chase after her instead of letting her go but he always did end up letting her go and you can never go back.

Oliver sat down heavily in front of the computer. He signed into the email and clicked on to the next email.

_Dear Oliver, _

_I miss you so much it hurts. _

_It's funny because in this very moment your probably hate me and for that I am so sorry. _

Oliver closed his eyes, no matter what she did Oliver doubted he could ever really hate her.

_We never lied to each unless it was to protect the other, only this time I did and it wasn't to protect you it was to protect her but now it's time I told you the truth. _

_When I first found out I was pregnant I had every intention of telling you. I was scared, of course I was. I mean you left me, you made love to me then left me. _

Guilt filled him and he wishes he could go back.

_Anyway one afternoon I left work early to go to the doctors and he was waiting for me in the parking garage. Slade Wilson, _

Oliver's blood ran cold.

_his name still scares the crap out of me. I know he once meant a lot to you Oliver but in the end he wasn't a good man. _

_I know he no longer had his strength but just the sight of him scared the crap out of him. I knew running away from him wasn't an option so I froze. _

_"What do you want from me?" I asked. _

_Slade glared at me as if I should already know the answer. Slade walk towards me and I fault ever erg to run and maybe if it was just me I would have taken the risk but it wasn't just me. _

_His blade on my neck told me he was just in front of me. _

_I closed my eyes. I was never sure I wanted our child until that very moment. I wrapped my eyes round my waist to protect our baby. _

_"Please don't." I whimpered. _

Oliver slammed his fist into the table; if they had just been talking, if he hadn't of walked away maybe he would have questioned her leaving. Maybe he would have been standing there beside her when Slade came for her.

_I hated how week I sounded but had to do something. _

_He moved his sword from my neck and slowly caressed my face and I tried not to flinch. _

_"Your different, then before." he mumbled. _

_Tears slide down my cheek and I hugged myself tighter. _

_"You were so willing to die for him, but not now." Slade said. _

_I swallowed. _

_"Why?" he quested. _

_I bit my lip and closed my eyes tighter. _

_"Why?" He yelled, his hand closed over my throat and I chocked for breath. _

Anger built within Oliver, his Slade was alive he would kill him again and this time it wouldn't be painless or merciful.

_"Please don't." I begged over and over again. _

_His grip tightened. _

_"I'm pregnant." I screamed with my last breath. _

_Slade dropped me instantly and I fell to floor, gasping for breath. _

_"Is it his?" He asked. _

_I looked up at him afraid to answer. _

_"Is it his?" he asked again and I nodded slowly. _

_He laughed bitterly. _

_"I should kill you both, but where would the fun it that be." he laughed bitterly. _

_"I'll let you and your baby live." He said. _

_I breathed a sigh of relief. _

_"At least for now." He added._

_My breath caught in my throat. _

_"What are you going to do?" I asked._

_He bent down so he was eye level with me. _

_"I'll let him love you and your child and then when you both least expect it I will make him really see what it feels like to lose the person he loves most in the world." He told me bitterly. _

_A sob escaped from my throat. _

_"Oh god." I cried. _

_He laughed and left me on the floor of the parking garage. _

_I have never been so scared in my life Oliver. I drove home and packed all my stuff but then you called asking me if everything was ok..._

Oliver remembered that he was trying to get things back to normal.

_I couldn't leave like that and I knew you would coming after me if I did so I gave myself a two week deadline. Two weeks to making find me impossible. Two weeks to say goodbye to you, to everyone. Those two weeks were by far the hardest of my life._

_I love you Oliver._

Oliver closed his eyes, as tears slid down his cheeks.

_I always have and I always will but in that very moment protecting her from Slade was more important to me than anything. I hope one day you can forgive me from keeping her from you. _

_He came to you looking for me, looking for her but her found Laurel instead. I am sorry for that. Tell Laurel I am sorry for that too. I never meant for anyone to get hurt because of me. But you beat him and I was so proud of you. I hope you never beat yourself up for killing him, you didn't have a choice. _

Oliver had beat himself up for killing his former friend but now he wished he could do it all over again.

_I was going to come to you then explain everything and give you a chance to meet and get to know Katya and be the amazing father I always knew you were going to be. _

_But then the pictures started, day after day I would receive them of Katya at school, of us at the supermarket, at the park. Of Katya and Jay. All with one message; I'll see you soon. I had no idea where it was coming from and until I new, she wasn't safe. None of us were. So we moved Jay and his mum Ellie came with us. _

_It was the same every time we moved somewhere new, after about a year when we thought we were safe Ellie and I received letters again. We moved over and over again until Ellie got sick. She told me to go but I couldn't leave her and I knew there was no chance that Katya would leave Jay. That was the first time I met him, he was the image of his father tall with dark hair, dark eyes and just as cruel. He could have made his moved but he didn't and I never really understood why not until I researched him. _

_Joe Wilson the son of Slade and Tori Wilson. His mother died of cancer just like Ellie and seeing her most of reminded him who he once was. He left us alone until Ellie died and then the photos started again. We moved but this time I knew who he was and I knew it was only so long before Katya and Jay would start asking question so I hid us for as long as I could but about three months ago he kept appearing. Over and Over again the same cold smirk on his face that Slade had when he told me what he would do to our daughter and Joe wants to the same thing Oliver. Joe wants to kill her to hurt you. _

_When Katya started asking questions I knew what I had to do, I went to Joe willingly hoping that I would be enough but I know I won't be so I set a plan in motion for the letters to get sent to you, for Jay to be sent to Katya. For Jay to bring Katya for you while I stalled Joe enough for you to keep Katya safe. Whatever happens Oliver never let her be alone until his is gone. I don't care what you have to do but please Oliver make it safe for our daughter. _

_I love you Oliver Queen and I hope that one day I get to tell you that to you face. _

_Love always _

_Felicty._

* * *

Katya dried her hands on the bath towel just as her phone beeped in her pocked. She fished it out freezing briefly as she remembered the beeping from the computers in the lair. Shaking her head and making a mental note to go straight back to the lair after they were done with breakfast. Katya looked at her phone.

_Jane Doe found approximate age 45-50, Starling city general. _

Katya looked at the photo.

"Mum." she whispered.

Her feet moved before she could think, her phone fell from her fingers but she didn't care. She ran as if her life depended upon it.

* * *

**Note: Hey my lovelies I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your reviews. A while ago I mentioned about doing a one-shot connecting series called how it should have been. Which will include all the flashback and much much more and will then change then end of this story, but I got caught up in my exams and finishing Uni but if your still interested let me know because I am now done with exams and looking forward to writing more. **


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